EverYOne hAs a LiTtLe sToRY sO dO I

Office politics

2011-05-03T14:07:00.002+08:00

I seriously had a very bad first night shift at work. I am truly sorry about what happened. And seriously got something on, that is why I left the workplace in the rush. I know you got all the right to be angry with me. I know it's my fault. My night shift partner allowed my to go ahead with my plans because she knows. But this girl.. I guess, what I've learnt is, at workplace, there is never mercy. People will just bitch about it, despite the fact that you have your reasons.

I am seriously feeling shit, and even cry because, I seriously feel like staying, but I just can't. Either ways, I am letting either sides down. I even try to contact my partner to ask about it, straight after I finished my stuff. I tried my best to get the colleague's number, who is mad at me, to apologize. And she didn't even bother to reply, and she even scolded the person who gave me her number.

I know sorry is just not enough for this kind of situation. I know, I am just suck, to have not anticipate my night will be this bad, and make plans straight after my work. It's my fault, I know. You have all the right to bitch about it, and ignore how people might feel. What kind of emotions I will feel, and how much it will affect me. It's okay. I deserve it.

I am just sad that, this is reality.

2010-10-17T23:06:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow, 18 October 2010, will embark me on a whole new journey, a new chapter in my life. My first official job. My Career. =D A new environment for me to adapt. Meeting new people, and new machines.

Not really excited right now, but am looking forward to it. Hopefully this wouldn't affect me and my baby's relationship. =D

Well, I got to meet baby for 3 days consecutively, Friday, Saturday and Sunday (Today). =D He is really the sweetest guy ever. Knowing that I am starting work soon, he even took the effort to take off for me. In order to spend more time with me. Hopefully these last.

He even agreed upon sending me to work, and fetching me from sgh initially. However, he got a test tml, but sweetly, he still agree to fetch me from work tomorrow. =D

What he said to me today still replaying over and over again in my head. "Treat every handsome guy at workplace like the devil in Town (a movie), they are trying to steal you away from me." -so sweet, and cute.

I just hope all these happy moment could last till eternity. Faith. ♥♥♥♥♥ =D

Going to get to bed soon. Need to rest early, and prepare for the embarkation of my whole new journey tomorrow. A chapter of my Career in life. =D

Good night everybody. Sweet dreams, and good luck to me tomorrow. Hopefully everybody are friendly and true. =D

=D ♥

2010-10-09T01:46:00.003+08:00

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.

2010-10-08T16:55:00.004+08:00

Baby, I have decided.
If you say you love me,
And I am the person for you now.

I wouldn't care about anything else,
And love you with all my heart.

I don't mind how you pursue me,
Where you bring me to,
Or what you buy for me.

I don't care what you have done,
for your ex, or for me.
To whom it is better.

I just want to cherish what I have now,
And what I am feeling now.

Because, not everybody can makes me feel this way.
Because, I am gonna make it different this time.
Because, I believe that it will happen, this time.
Because, I have faith.

Let's have faith. =D

Yes, I promise to think this way as from 8 October 2010, 5.01 pm (sg).
The reason why I wrote this here, to blog it.
I want you people (if there are), to witness this, to remind me this, to make me remember this forever. =DD

♥♥♥♥♥ Elia.

2010-10-08T07:07:00.002+08:00

I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn’t deserve it. Because they are all you have. Because any attention is better than no attention. For exactly the same reason, it is sometimes satisfying to cut yourself and bleed. On those gray days where eight in the morning looks no different from noon and nothing has happened and nothing is going to happen and you are washing a glass in the sink and it breaks-accidentally-and punctures your skin. And then there is this shocking red, the brightest thing in the day, so vibrant it buzzes, this blood of yours. That is okay sometimes because at least you know you’re alive.

-Augusten Burroughs

It hurts. Especially when you are vulnerably sensitive. When someone just answered in a extremely cold way after you thought you had done something great.

I wish. God can sometimes tell me the answer. Who is in my future. So that I wouldn't get cuts along the way. I am a coward.

Happy or sad. You are the one who are feeling it. You are the one who are taking it. So, you do get to choose. =D

2010-08-21T18:34:00.003+08:00

Been in Singapore for quite sometime, still haven found any suitable job. But well, I'm starting on my part-time job already. Selling mooncake. =x Yeahh, I realised how stupid I am now already. =( Blaa, but I have agreed to work with them, so I have to continue till the end of festival? =] I have to keep my words, somehow. =]

Well, things change. Friends that I thought we are still close, stray away. Probably, 1 year is really a long time. Despite the fact that we are still in contact, but people come and go. Hence, just when there's people coming in, human tend to build up stronger memories and relationships, and stray away from the older one. Or maybe, it wasn't tat strong to start with the old one. AHAHA.

I have to learn to accept. I'm still trying. Will give up when I'm tired on trying uh. Been thickening my skin for quite sometime already.. AHAHAHA. I dunno. At least I've tried? Or probably, 10 years down the road, when we saw each other again, looking back, and realise, I probably had to try harder, or be persistence. But at least, when I look back at this post, I know, how thick skin I had put up with, and it takes two to clap eventually. So, I should say, at least I've tried what I should do. =]

Hmmm, been searching for jobs recently. But didn't get to really do it, cos my sister using my com. =( I know, sometimes I really feel irritated. Because, it's my com, and I'm doing important things, things that matters my future. But, she dun understand at times. Or I am quite irritated at times too. I dunno how should I feel uh. Hard to maintain, hard to be good. I have my temper too. I'm trying to be nice. And it's hard to be, cos I'm not a nice person. LOL.

I know, I can be really childish at times, and wanna things my own way too, like any other people. I know I am not a nice person. Sometimes, I really thought I have split personalities, or am I bipolar? AHAHA. Cos I can feel myself getting angry, or irritated, and after that I feel guilty and all. So am I still stable? AHAHA. I don't know. EEEEYYYEEER.. Is this normal???

Well, hopefully I can get some interesting job, with good people and good environment. I really wanna, and really interested in forensic science. But I know I have really zero chance in getting into that division. That's disappointing. But hopefully I can get into any other good and interesting division or company, helping me to explore my interest.

Yeahh, I know, I should just look at what I have, and not what I don't in order to live happy. =] That's another thing I have learnt in life. OPTIMISTIC. (Easy to say, but at least I'm trying to think this way. =] )

2010-08-03T15:14:00.003+08:00

Okay, been going out for the past few days. Ups and downs. Plus, my luggage is not fully unpack too. And my trip is nearing. AHAHAHA. So many things to do. So lazy.

I don't know what happened recently, or am I thinking too much? First thing first, it's like hard for me to trust somebody. And now, friendship like turn sour???

I should have just believe in what he says and all. But why must all the loopholes find me? Sadly said, I wanted to tell these to my close one, but they like miles and distance away, though I'm back here. Who I used to share all my stories to, seems different when she came today. Am I thinking too much?

I also longed for the cheerful Elia, but why things become like this in Singapore? Shouldn't hometown be more welcoming and comfortable?

Okay, got to prepare.. Hopefully friends still friends. Still in contact, still feel the same to each other despite the fact that they are growing, and becoming busier.

2010-07-29T01:17:00.003+08:00

I have arrived in Singapore, mixed feelings. So lost. Even lost because I have no idea what is with me, what I brought over and all.

Really really grateful for people who helped me packed my luggage when I'm gone (wasted). AHAHA. OMG, that was disastrous. Well, a very big thank you to Adrian, someone whom I know for less than a month, but we both clicked quite well. Wanted him to be my brother, but, he rejected me. =/ Well, I seriously am very grateful to meet this friend, hopefully our friendship last. Promise is meant to be FULFILL okay!! ahahaha. Thanks Thanks Thanks, a million thanks is not even enough for me to show my gratitude to him. My nanny for graduation, very sweet fellow who helped me carrying my stuff, took pictures and gave me a cute little scholar bear, with uq logo, for graduation. =DD

Also, secondly, this housemate of mine, know her through friend's friend, helped me in packing my luggage too. =DD Thank you Weiqi housemate. =DD AHaha, though there were funny parts which I would rather keep to myself now, regarding some mixing up of clothes. AHAHA. But a very big thank you to her too. She has been really nice person, we both clicked well too. And I hope friendship don't end here aite. =DD Thanks for helping me with my luggage, and bringing back my stuff, and bathing too, right? AHAHAHAH.

And last but not least, people who are there to see the whole procedure, and whom I am suppose to meet for dinner, Mr Sean and Mr Gavin. And thank you Gavin for driving me there, and both of you in sending me off. =DD

I am seriously blur, from where I check in, to where I touch down. =/ And so many handful of luggage in hand, can't even breathe properly when holding them. =/ Well, all in all, the main important thing is that I have arrived Singapore safely, hate alcohol already, and get most of my stuff flew down with me. (Thanks thanks again for helping me to pack.)

I've got seriously pissed off with some little stuff. Yeah, I know it's little stuff, and I shouldn't get angry with, but then again, it's just a little stuff, and I just need a few fingers (not even a hand). Somebody whom I barely know them for weeks helped me so much, but somebody whom I know for years, just a little stuff hurt me so much. There is probably some misunderstanding, I seriously hope. But what makes me angry the most is the answer I got before I take off, the part where I said, since there are some mixing up, and I got to helped to bring your stuff over accidentally, why not you help me bring some stuff over too. And the answer that I got was, "no, it's not as though I asked you to help. And my luggage were full too." Left me speechless for a moment. Do I still know you?

Maybe because of something that makes you unhappy, and parents are pressurizing you. And I am not as understanding, I should say, but I think I had missed out seriously big part of you, and makes me feel so distant with you, you know. I hope, and I don't think you are that kind of person with different personalities right. I just hope it's a huge misunderstanding between all these issues. Sorry, I know you have been through a lot more than I am, and it's selfish for me to be angry about this small matter. (Or maybe from your point of view, I am seriously selfish, annoying, and troublesome? I hope it's not about some money issues that got us this way.) But, I seriously don't understand what is going on, with things, with you, and me. Things change, but I think, isn't this way too fast? This is not you, I know.

Blaa, anyways, first night out, dinner date with shuyi, sweeteng, gina, melodie and jx, with my mum tagging. LOL. Hmmm, dinner wasn't as great, due to the food weren't as good as I remembered. =/ Well, but the accompanies were great. It's nice to have dinner once in a while with people so dearest to you. All are working adults, except for Ms Gina, who still claim herself as a full time student, and part time working. AHAHA. Well, I can see some changes in few, and the old in most, but still everyone is still as sweet. =DD More stories to update me okay. I wanna get filled in everything.

Oh, and, my skin, seriously bad uh. =/ There were lots of comment regarding that. My dearest skin, can you please be good, and not be haywired? Please, please, find back your old stable self please?? =/

Arghhhhhhh, more to unpack. And more to pack for my thailand trip too. Singapore is seriously hot, OMG!!!

2010-06-29T07:27:00.003+08:00

My exams are finally over. Hopefully everything really are brought to an end. Went club on Saturday. It was fun. And I guess, that probably is my last, or last few trip. AHAHAHA.

Well, now that exams are over, I have no idea what to do during this whole month that I've got, before my graduation. I planned to stay home everyday, sleep for 10 hours per day. As this allows me to save some money, because I'm really on a very tight budget now. =/ But whoever hears this was like saying a big "NO" to it. They said it will be kinda of wastage. I know. But, what else can I do with these little budget. =/ Gahhhhh, I feel so stranded here. =/

I thought of going backpacking alone. But am afraid that I'm too gullible to do it myself. =/ Loga's boyfriend is arriving in like less than 24 hours time. And by then, Elia will really be clueless on what to do. But, I guess, things will find me eventually, right? =DD

Hopefully everything goes well, smoothly. =DD

2010-06-13T06:10:00.010+08:00

Oh my god, one paper down, and many more to go.. The weather is getting colder and colder each day. =/ OMG.

Guess what, I'm actually slacking after one paper. This is so not good!!! But I seriously have got no mood for it. I know I am definitely gonna regret this so much. Cos, there's actually no much time to study for the next 3 papers. And I am totally freak out, because, I have no idea how to?? Plussss...

I can't really contact Mister M. =/ No mooooooooooooddddddddddddddd. And and, my stomach is feeling crazy!!!!!!! =/ It's kinda pain, or cramp would be a closer word to describe the feeling.

Oh ya, I suddenly bring out my courage to ask Loga if she mind studying with another person in the room (cos all along I've been guess, and I thought I should do this.. so..). And yea, she mentioned she would rather study in isolated places, because in that way, she could concentrate better. And she say she dun mind going down to study uh. Hmmmm, I'm just asking, no any intention uh. Sometimes, I just wanna know more about it, seek the truth. And dun ask me why, because I don't know why would I wanna know too. Since it won't actually affect the situation much.

Oh ya, went to school for paper today. Guess what I heard? Hmmm, my friend took a summer project, and she did a research module this semester, so all in all, she have only 2 exams. And now, 1 is down for her. =/ I am so envious about it!!!!! OMGG.

KKKKKKKKKKKKK, I think I should get studying huh?? But seriously, I don't know how to plan them. =/ Just wanna try my best!! =DD

2010-06-11T07:54:00.006+08:00

I tend to envy people a lot more, than enjoying my life huh?? Seeing my house mate leaving to SG totally, saddening. Hmmm, but how sweet of her for helping me bring my clothes home. Pray hard that my current "assets" here weigh less than 20 kg??? Or so. I am in dilemma. I got a feeling, a very bad one for my exam. I afraid... Plus, I already paid for my graduation gown, and my mum is coming to attend my graduation. Mister M asked me to have faith aite. =DD

Exam is starting in like less than 24 hours time. OMGGG~ I am feeling so stressful rite now. Hmm, maybe not now, yet. My mood has be going up and down uhh. Sometime stressful, sometime not. I guess, probably the sunlight does contribute to this effect. When the sun is still up, I probably think there's time still, for me to study. Orrrrrr, I tend to study better in the day time???

Well, it's freaking cold down here. I'm studying in the dining area again. When was the last time, hmmm, last semester. And I hope this shall be the last semester that I'll be here, studying. =/ This is where I need my own room.. Hmmm, nahhhhhhhhhh. I know it's bad to think that way. Loga should be taking the room la. She has morning sickness. (Wait, is that?? AHAHA, I mean she has flu; tend have it everyday, or used to have it everyday. I think she's better now, because the room's temperature is way higher than here. =DD)

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I know, as a friend, if you know the place you are studying sucks, you won't wanna let your friend suffer right?? =DD Well, she used to go to the library everyday, and one day, I asked her, "why do you have to go to the library, is there any reason??". And she said she can't concentrate in the dining area uhh. (Well, I never chase her to the dining area, but I guess she prefers studying alone, somewhere, without me?) So the next day, I tried to initiate to go to the dining area to study instead, to see if that's the reason why she wanted to travel to the library.(I mean, I see her going library in the morning, and going back home late, like after I slept, and I know it's very dangerous. Hence, yeaaaappp. And I'm older, I should take some responsibilities in it..) And yeaap, she stop. =DD

Well, it's cold here. But no harm. Looking on the brighter side, Elia helps a friend, and is away from her bed (Because I tend to fall asleep more often, than studying =x). So, should be a win-win situation. Plus going toilet, brushing teeth, washing face, travelling up and down the stairs, hopefully can help me lose some weight. =DDD (But, hope this won't irritate my room mate. =( )

I seriously hope I will pass my exam, and I'm seriously just aiming for a pass will do. I don't wanna let my parents down, me don't wanna waste their money. I guess, things would be less stressful if I'm in sg, no need to worry about money and all. But well, since I'm here, I don't wanna complain no more. Just try my best (whines at times, when I'm low, but..), and do the exams. Whatever the result is, I hope I can take it without any regrets. At least I tried, and I gain something in return. =DD

I misssss watching tv, and sleeping long hoursssss. =/

I WANNA DO THIS AND GET OVER IT ASAP!! =DD (*praying hard* Hopefully I can do well.)

*A post to be remember =D*

2010-05-30T12:22:00.001+08:00

Some day, Some where,

I would find someone out there,

who will love me with all his heart.

I believe I will. =D

2010-05-15T08:46:00.004+08:00

If I could turn back time, I don't think I would made the same choice.
How I wish we are still going strong, and last till eternity.
But well, who knows.
It's still too early to say that.
Right now, I would wanna believe that I've made my choice right.
And make it really RIGHT.

No more regrets Elia. =D

I know, my future would be different, if I didn't choose this path.
However, chances of encountering the same phase is high.
Hence, I just need to hold on strong, stand on my position,
and BRACE MY FUTURE. =DD

Because, there's no turning back in life. We only live once.

B.O.O.S.T.

2010-04-23T19:57:00.003+08:00

I had lots of dreams today. One that I remembered clearly was about me unable to find my way back home. Which, the interpretation of it goes...

To dream that you cannot find your way home, indicates that you have lost faith and belief in yourself. It may also signify a major transition in your life.

Or

To dream that a house has disappeared, indicates that you are not feeling grounded. You feel uprooted by a particular circumstance or relationship in your life.

2010-04-14T10:35:00.001+08:00

Women Want A Sensitive Jerk,

Yes/No?

By Victoria Holmes, quoted from askmen.com

A good friend of mine and I were talking about relationships the other night over drinks, when he looked at me and exclaimed in total exasperation, "I don't understand women. If we're nice, you relegate us to friend status and go for a complete jerk, and then come crying to us that you just want a nice guy. Are you insane? What do you want?" And that's when it hit me: all women want a sensitive bastard -- yes, that's a good thing. But what does this strange, sarcastic phrase mean exactly? How can you become the man that women can't get enough of? And are women insane? Read on and you'll soon understand everything.

Jerk Appeal

The reason why even the sweetest of women gravitate toward the jerk at one point or another is because he exhibits certain qualities that appeal to women universally. Sane women are not ball-busters by nature and want a man who has a backbone and displays a healthy amount of testosterone. We can't help but be drawn to the jerk's confidence and the fact that he doesn't let people walk all over him or tell him what to do.

A relationship with a jerk usually gets ugly because he will inevitably take any sign of attachment from the woman he is with as a threat to his free-wheeling ways, and go out of his way to show her that he is, well, a jerk. For instance, if the woman mentions a concert she'd like to see with him in a month from now, he will interpret this as her wanting to be his ball and chain and will probably go out and find himself another woman ASAP -- without telling the ball and chain of course.

So, the woman ends up not knowing what happened and goes crying to her friends about wanting the antithesis of the jerk: the nice guy. But alas, he is also all wrong.

Nice Guy Appeal

After being with the jerk, the nice guy looks really appealing. He is kind, listens and can't believe that jerk would cheat on a girl like her. But after he helps mend her broken heart, he suddenly becomes too nice. I mean, he watches chick flicks, goes shopping with her, and never says no.

The problem? She starts to feel like he is more of a girlfriend than a boyfriend, and finds herself longing for "a real man."

Hence the confusing conundrum. So which is it? What do women want? We want the best of both worlds. Call it a nice jerk if you will, but I prefer the term sensitive bastard.

Johnny Depp

Stay with me here. Johnny Depp was voted "Sexiest Man Alive" by People magazine in 2004. The key to his sex appeal? He is the ultimate sensitive bastard. On one hand, he has a bunch of tattoos, smokes like a chimney, marches to the beat of his own drum, and never feels the need to explain or apologize for his behavior; on the other hand, he is a family man who adores his wife, and plays Barbie with his daughter and trucks with his son.

What's my point? He exhibits the qualities that women like about the jerk, such as confidence, a backbone, and a devilish twinkle in his eye, as well as the sensitivity and kindness of the nice guy, without falling into either of these traps. By pointing this out, I am not implying that you should emulate his behavior; I am merely citing him as one of many possible examples of the sensitive bastard. So take a cue from the man and learn to walk that fine line.

The Fine Line

The way to keep the woman of your dreams interested in you and only you is to be sensitive while retaining your masculinity. Know when to be kind and understanding, and when to stick to your guns, so to speak. For instance, if she just got fired and is devastated, that is when you should be her shoulder to cry on and do something nice for her like rent her favorite comedy on DVD and watch it with her. On the other hand, if she decides to redecorate your place while you're away and you return to find that your bedroom is now really "pretty," it's time to sit your little woman down and let her know that she really shouldn't have .

The key is to avoid both extremes of the nice guy and the jerk. Don't be at her beck and call, but be there for her when she needs you most. Don't cheat on her, but go out with the guys and don't let her give you any grief about it. Don't ever let her think that she can tell you what to wear, eat, think, or say, but listen to and respect her opinion. You get the idea.

This way, she knows that you love her but that she can't walk all over you, which is the key to her loving and respecting you. Throw in a romantic gesture or two every now and then and she'll be so in love, she won't know what hit her. Think about it, if you give her the best of both worlds, why would she ever want to look elsewhere?

Trust Me

You have to trust me on this one because most women don't even know that this is what they want, but unless they are users or man-haters, it is. So don't listen to any more crap about women wanting Mr. Sensitive and falling into the arms of Mr. Jerk; be the sensitive bastard they can't get enough of.

Taken from Thy-Dowager

2010-04-13T23:43:00.003+08:00

Eliane: Love should bring you happiness, make e impossible, possible. Gives you the strength to face difficulties. Though it sounds fairy tale, but sometimes, life is just how you look at it. There are many different perspective to look at it. It can be good or bad, what happen can be very simple, like someone u love, saying I love u to you; like the other day I called you when you were sleeping, and you said "I love you", to me, it simply makes my day. Or me trying to perfect myself for you; though it seems hard, but at least I am willing to try. That's what life is about. It's not the results that matter, but the process, that is the essence in life. Experience it to the fullest, no matter what the result is, at least you know you've tried, and leave no regrets in life.

LYF=D

2010-04-13T23:00:00.001+08:00

I thought My World will Be Different With You, But You Just Give It Away..

Don't bother to do anything, just sit down there and be your own fortune teller.
Love you forever and ever. =D

It hurts, but what to do? You are not "The One" in my life.

2010-01-31T21:46:00.000+08:00

Did you forget that I was even alive?
Did you forget everything we ever had?
Did you forget, did you forget about me?

Did you regret ever standing by my side?
Did you forget we were feeling inside?
Now I'm left to forget about us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song, you can't forget it

So now I guess this is where we have to stand
Did you regret ever holding my hand?
Never again, please don't forget, don't forget

We had it all, we were just about to fall
Even more in love, than we were before
I won't forget, I won't forget about us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song you can't forget it

Somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song, you can't forget it at all

And at last all the pictures have been burned
And all the past is just a lesson that we've learned
I won't forget, please don?t forget us

Somewhere we went wrong
Our love is like a song but you won't sing along
You've forgotten about us
Don't forget

=(

2010-01-31T03:14:00.001+08:00

Your focus will most likely shift to financial matters today, taking an otherwise quiet day to deal with your responsibilities in this regard, Aquarius. This is actually good news, because it has to do with something you've wanted or have been trying to develop coming to pass. Either you are finding proof that what you believe is happening is not a figment of your imagination, or you find a way to make it happen that is nearly unbelievable. Keep your dreams and expect the best as you put all your energy into working for what you want.

=DD

Hopefully, I really can PASS!!!!!

2010-01-26T01:58:00.003+08:00

After watching "It's complicated", and the last saturday's channel 8 show, I sort of sorten out what I should do. Probably, they are signs.

For now, I think it's that way. I hope I can be determine.

Hmmmmmm, I always wanted to stop contacting. But always, there's excuses, excuses that I made for myself to explain to myself. HAHAHAHAHA.

This time, take drinking as an excuse. What the hell.

2010-01-17T05:52:00.002+08:00

我终于问出口了。
虽然我已知道答案，但为了彻底死了这条心。。。

我真的因该放弃了。

那已不是我们共有的天空了。

2010-01-15T05:17:00.000+08:00

The longer you wait, the less likely you are to get back together with your man. Why?

Because if he discovers there IS life after you or finds another woman he's happy with, you may lose your chance to get back together forever.

http://www.gettinghimback.com/

2010-01-05T20:37:00.001+08:00

05 折疊式愛情
詞：姚若龍 / 曲：佳芳同學、阿鳩

一起在海边吹风忽然有流星划过
滚烫的手降落肩头
很强烈感觉胸口的震动

偶尔温柔的日落还有暗示的幽默
你想什麼我不太懂
只晓得期待越多越难过

你带著可以摺叠的爱情
我在等不会变形的真心
被抱在你怀里却要提防你
爱要多聪明才能逃得过哭泣

走走停停的时钟深深浅浅的互动
你没有说一句爱我
却把我摆在爱的氛围中

你带著可以摺叠的爱情
我在等不会变形的真心
被抱在你怀里却要提防你
爱要多聪明才能逃得过哭泣

你那种可以摺叠的爱情
带给我夹著开心的伤心
有时候挣扎著陷落在泥泞
有时又忘了一切的飞行

这是幸福的等候心酸的前奏
要放下太多的疑惑才能专心去快乐

你那种可以摺叠的爱情
带给我夹著开心的伤心
有时候挣扎著陷落在泥泞
有时又忘了一切的飞行

面对你可以摺叠的爱情
该要有什麼样子的表情
为什麼不能问不能更透明
想要保护自尊的爱藏著孤寂

2010-01-04T17:31:00.001+08:00

不能握的手　卻比愛人還長久

藍又時《秘密》

你就直接回頭吧她在等著你
不要怕我會哭泣早就在心底
想想你說過的話其實我們不虛假
那就好吧其實你對我不差

別對我食之無味棄之可惜
雖然你還有感覺但不是愛情
想想你說過的話其實我們不虛假
那就好了吧這些夠了呀

我們的愛情是秘密不能成立
就算我愛你也不能夠說明
他在你身邊逗你開心
我只不過讓你歇斯底里

你就讓我跟著你一起祕密
我們的事情說好不提起
讓我們都能夠清晰你和他是不變的定律

2010-01-04T03:31:00.004+08:00

I'm learning, I'm learning. But deep in my heart, it's still reluctant to forget..

Romantic relationships can be really complicated and end up in a bad breakup. The worst thing about these "sad endings" is that at least one heart ends up broken. Sometimes, it's even hard for both sides--after all, breaking up is not easy to do. It hurts to throw away your story with someone--all the good memories and the dreams and plans you two had for the future. But you must face the fact that your heart is broken. It doesn't matter if you wish things could be different or if you even regret something you did. It doesn't matter if you think you shouldn't have become that involved with that person or if you're angry and looking for revenge. The fact is: Your heart is broken!

Even if the only thing you want to do is win your partner back - and by the way, if you're interested in doing this then I strongly recommend The Magic of Making Up - when a relationship is truly over, it's time to begin the healing process.

So now what? Are you going to sit and cry for the rest of your life or do you intend to do something? Was that ending your fault or are you not the one to blame? Is there something you can do to fix it? Is there something you should stop and think about so you can act in a better way the next time 'round? There are many things you can do to heal a broken heart! And the best thing is: It all depends on you!

Step 1:

Cry out everything you have to cry about! When we get hurt, it's normal (and good) to cry. Don't ever think you're being weak for crying and don't feel embarrassed because of it! It's normal and it's good! When you cry, you let go of part of your anger and hurt so you can feel less heavy. You can lock yourself in a room, if you want to, and put on some sad music...but let yourself feel the pain and cry so you can let it go. The main thing here is: Get rid of the pain! Just let her go!

Step 2:
Get busy! When you're trying to get someone out of your head, you need to put other things inside of it. In other words...get busy! It doesn't matter how, you just need to get distracted. Go to a movie, watch a play, travel. It doesn't matter what are you going to do--the important thing is to find something to do. Find a hobby, find something you enjoy doing, something to keep your mind busy. If your mind is busy, it doesn't have time or space to think about the person you're trying to forget. (The thing is, I am jobless..)

Step 3:
Spend some time with your friends. Friends are always great to have in this kind of situation! Friends can make you feel good about yourself and get you distracted very easily. They will certainly make you laugh and make you see that you're way more important than you think! The only warning is: Ask them not to talk about the person you're trying to forget. If they start bringing the topic up in every conversation, you won't be able to forget, and instead of making you laugh, they're going to make you cry. So be honest and ask them not to talk about it! (And my friends is related to him...)

Step 4:
Avoid the person! Try not to go to places you know you can meet that person. When you're trying to forget someone and you two keep seeing each other, it gets hard to get over it. If you meet him/her somewhere, just be nice and kind, but find an excuse to go away as fast as you can! If you work or study with him/her and you can't avoid seeing him/her, just try not to look and not to talk too much. Just be gentle and keep busy all the time so you won't have excuses to look at him/her or to chat.
(I can't, it's contradicting.. I'm in a dilemma of wanting to spend as much time with him as I'm leaving- stupid thoughtss.. haiyaaaaaaaaaaaa..)

Step 5:
Go out and see some different faces! Being at home gives you more time to think about it, which makes the process even more difficult. So even if you're not feeling excited or you're in a bad mood, just put on your best clothes, best shoes, best smile, call some friends and go somewhere nice where you can dance, drink, listen to some music. And the most important: See some different faces! When you go out, you notice that the person you're trying to forget is not the only one who's got a perfect smile and an amazing voice...thank god, there are other interesting people around the world, too!
(I did try to, but, non make me feel that they are more perfect than he is.)

Step 6:

Avoid every kind of romantic thing! If you're trying to forget someone, you'd better not watch romantic movies or listen to romantic songs...it makes you feel bad and you will certainly remember the person you're trying to get rid of. It doesn't matter if it's a song you love or if it's playing on the radio...just change the station or do something else! Put on some happy songs, dancing songs, watch some comedies, terror movies, whatever...you just need to avoid the romantic things for now!

Step 7:
Take good care of yourself. Women tend to run for some kind of self-destruction when they're hurt. If we break up our perfect relationship, then we have no reason to get our nails done anymore and the only thing that gives us comfort is chocolate and sugar. That way, the only thing we do is to become less attractive and lessen our self-confidence. So if you're hurt, just try to use your pain for yourself instead of against you. Go to the gym, work out a lot, get your nails and hair done...do whatever you can so you can feel more pretty and confident!
(I'm lazy, and always less confident. He is always my confident origin.)

Step 8:
Accept the process! You can be really strong and it's still going to hurt. The process takes time and you have to accept that! You can't hope to forget in 2 days someone you loved for 2 years...and you can't pretend to be strong if you feel like crying. Just face your pain and accept that it's not easy and it's going to take some time. When you're patient with yourself and your situation, things tend to get easier...
=(

Well, of course, forgetting someone is not easy to do nor is it easily explained in just 8 steps. But there are some things that make the process a lot smoother. As I said, it takes time and it's hard but I'm sure you can do it! The only thing that is really, really important is: It all depends on you! Don' ever forget that! If you want to forget someone, then you will, there is no doubt! Even if it takes a long time, even if you have to be really strong...you will be! In that kind of situation we usually find out that we are a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for! So believe that. Believe that, take a deep breath and move on! Your life's waiting for you, baby!

MidnightShadow (5771) 2007-02-08 13:59:48 Ahh I had this problem about a year ago. I thought I met the girl of my dreams. We had been high school buddies since day one and I thought we were going to be together forever, then we ended up in two different colleges, and two different life goals that only lead further away from each other. I was totally crushed knowing this and it hurt me for the longest time. The only care for something (at least that worked for me) was to find something better then them. Thats what happen to me because i'm so in love with my girlfriend right now I have I hardly remember the bad times. So in short, fall in love with another person and you'll forget the pass events

sisophous (3738) 2007-02-08 14:29:19 Sisophous agrees with MidnightShadow, you need to make new relationships and just let it go. I take it this person does not share your same feelings and you realize this otherwise would have approached him.

People often have tunnel vision and become preoccupied with one person which often builds frustration and can make us miserable. Such infatuations interfere with our daily activities and are counterproductive to happiness. Get out and meet new people, join clubs, go to parties. Rigorous exercise is also terrific to rest your mind. Go out and jog a few miles or swim laps in an indoor pool.

This special person is not the only one who will capture your heart, there are plenty more just around the corner if you are open minded and give other people a chance. In time, this special guy will eventually fade away, like a distant memory.

MrPokerjuly (12090) 2007-12-06 11:14:30
I understand where you are comming from, I was with an older woman since I was 17 years old she was 27. We got married 3 years ago but things just don't seem right anymore. We both have a different point of view on everything. I love her so much but we need to let go. I can't seem to get her out of my head and it drives me insane. I was diagnosed with Bipolar and this doesn't seem to help the situation any lol. The thought of someone else being with my true love I think would send me off the deep end. I'm 27 now and still can't deal with losing her.

Pringletot (13040) 2008-09-04 19:53:45 Sorry but I agree with junker, you can't truly get over someone, in 8th grade I was in love with this girl and now in 10th grade I still think about her a lot, not as much as before but I never really got over her

http://isitnormal.com/story/how-to-forget-someone-you-love-7469/

From this thread, I seriously think it's easier to say, but hard to be done. =(
Why must one realise only when they lost it?
Why must I always be like this?
When will I actually learn?

2010-01-04T03:00:00.002+08:00

要習慣沒有你的氣繫

Arghhhhhhhhhh. I am seriously angry about myself. What are all these? I'm getting tire.

I hate the fact that I actually miss him. Hate the "what if" running through my mind. Hate to become emo. Will I really get over him??

I hate the guesssssing game. I am seriously tire. Hate myself for making such decisions. Hate the things that I did. Thoughts of ending all these, everything, even run through my mind. This is bad. It scares me. I am actually tire of living. LOL.

What am I doing? I am trap in a room, without doors and windows to my solution. It's dark and cold inside. I am so selfish. =(

Nobody could save me.

I don't wanna stay here anymoreee. It hurts. The feeling of so near yet couldn't reach out any further, hurts. The feeling of can't do anything, but emo; lead me nowhere, is crazily dauting me.

I don't want to be this emo. I thought my feelings for you faded? Why does it feel so real, so hurting once again?

I want to shut down this mind please. Hear my prayers. Stop my pain.

I want to end all these. Stupid emo shits.

只剩下鋼琴陪我談了一天

睡著的大提琴

安靜的舊舊的

我想你已表現的非常明白

我懂我也知道

你沒有捨不得

你說你也會難過我不相信

牽著你陪著我也只是曾經

希望他是真的比我還要愛你

我才會逼自己離開

Chorus

你要我說多難堪

我根本不想分開

為什麼還要我用微笑來帶過

我沒有這種天份

包容你也接受他

不用擔心的太多

我會一直好好過

你已經遠遠離開

我也會慢慢走開

為什麼我連分開都遷就著你

我真的沒有天份

安靜的沒這麼快

我會學著放棄你

是因為我太愛你

2010-01-02T18:20:00.002+08:00

What's wrong with me? Thought it's not the same anymore. Thought I don't feel it anymore? What's up with the actions, and laziness I had after hearing that chances of meeting you is little. Blaaaaaaaaaa.

So lazy to go now. I wanna meet you. Everyday.

我想切斷一切關於你的氣繫.

=(

2009-12-24T05:09:00.005+08:00

我真的忘不了你。
这些年, 真的很长, 真的很难忘记。
我想要像你一样, 向你学习, 如何忘记。

这真的很难。

我还在学习...仍继续努力着...

='(

2009-12-10T01:42:00.002+08:00

I've tried; initiate; persist for a while.

I don't know what I am doing. A part of me was saying no, another was saying yes, and the rest saying I don't know. This is when everybody should questioned themselves; if we wouldn't able to answer what we really want, how would the other partner know too. (As usually, when we asked, and the answer is gonna be "I don't know", we would be really pissed. But look who's talking.. LOL!)

Maybe, I should, learn to, let go..
It's easier said than done. LOL.
Tried for years already, and look where I am at now?!

I know myself. I will, ALWAYS, look back, regret. No matter what I've done. SHIT. (Nah, except shitting, LOL.) Due to this, I did something, so that I hope I won't return, but now, I regretted. And it's late to say so. And well, it really did stop me from returning, somehow. And cause what I am at now, dilemma. blaaaaaa. (Ya la, I shouldn't. No elia no!)

I've called, msned, called, smsed. Replies were short, or no reply. All are signs huh? (Or not?)

Got to see this scene in a hong kong drama, playing about this couple: the girl going japan to study, and the guy promise to wait for her return. But in the end, he broke off with the girl, and apologise for breaking his promise. =( Well, yeaa. When reality strikes, a guy/girl changes his/her heart, the other party can do nothing, but to accept the fact. There's really little thing we can do. Actually, nothing. NOTHING.

I just wanna say, I know I've tried.

Haiya, what elia need to learn: Learn to let go. Learn to love, in the process of dating (not everytime after losing it). Learn to DRIVE. LOL.

HAIYAAAAAA. Another problem. I seriously have no confidence in passing my driving license. Plus, elia got no much money for practice, already. =( I wanna pass can!?! Please!

Argh.

2009-12-07T02:19:00.002+08:00

Everything is still fine, and I thought this won't strike me, not as soon as today, 6 days, the 6th day after I arrived sg.

My right eyelid twitched today. I thought, being home, wouldn't have any sad things happened to me. Didn't know this actually, also consider as one. Blaa, nonsense elia.

I don't know why. Why today? Maybe I am too free. Or maybe too much of...

I wanna know. But I know I shouldn't. Usually Elia act upon impulsiveness. Hence, usually after a while, elia will tell herself, no, you shouldn't do this. And yea, I know, I shouldn't. Since, it's like this. I can't, and please don't. Things will get complicated.

At these point of time, I actually thought, I should really get back to Australia, real early.

On my way home today, everything so familiar, so many memories. As usual, stupid elia talk about memories again. I thought, maybe a remote spot would be a good idea for people to move on real quickly. Though I still think of in Australia. But at least at that point of time I know I am farther down there.

And maybe, a better place or activities to aid in this type of matter would be doing some volunteering work. For instance, like going to africa, thailand or whatever, some third world countries which technology is not as advance. No internet, no phone, no nothing. Totally cut you off from other part of the globe. Lead you to no choice to have any news, contact from that someone. In addition, volunteering work meaning, doing something, having something to keep you busy. Brilliant right?! ahahahaha. For once I think I am smart. But elia must have the courage to do so.

I don't how to say, who to tell. And most importantly, tell for what? ahaha. Everyone must be tire of my nonsense. I know, I keep moving back and forth. And I know, like what you all say, I shouldn't do this anymore. And I know too. I shouldn't. I can't.

Facebook-ing as usual. Look at some profiles. I seriously think. I am not up for anything. I don't know what is the four letter word. How can someone possibly feel sad for everything. LOL. And I conclude. I am just a sad person, emo person. That's all. And it explains a lot. I just like to be sad.

Sour, heartache, all fake. They are just component in making somebody feel so real at times, and is a building blocking for the making of "sad".

Sorry blog, you must have hear this for umpteen times. More to go. But I know. I will control. ahahahahahaha.

='(
Sometimes, it's not as easy as you think you can do it.

2009-12-02T12:00:00.003+08:00

ALOHAAAAA SINGAPORE!! LOL. My friends, and family. OOOO, things changed man. LOL. A lot of things had changed. Everything seems so familiar, but yet, something new is observed. Tiny little bits anywhere. First day touched down, shop a bit at DFS for mum's present. And, went to eat, MEE SIAM. First food ate since touch down. NICEEE, STILL THE SAME TASTE AS IT IS IN MY MEMORY. kekekekeke.

Then, went back home, unpack, wash clothes, hang, and out to westmall. Hmmm, changes observed too in westmall. AHAHAHA. Anyways, got to meet sweeteng and gina. They changed man. Become, addicted to arcade games. LOL. ahahahaha. Haiyoo, still dun understand what the game mean, but anyways, they saw me, and see the fatness in me too.

Gahhhh, I admit, I grow fat. EEEE, an additional 2.5 kg had followed me from brisbane to sg. EEEE. Sads. Tummy fatter, and gina said, arms too. SAd sad sad. Like that how to come back and continue eating all the food that I had miss so much. =(

Now I care, later don't know, maybe, most probably, don't care too. kekekeke. Shitss. Can foresee myself being fat. Arghhhhh. Sigh.

Went to gina's house for mahjiong session afterwards. And had my second local specialty, Laska! lol. Niceee, but haven mum mum cockles yet, =(

Well, actually plan to find sandy, but she is busy. And by the time I call, it's also quite late.

Planned to meet minah, but unfortunately, elia fell asleep. =( Sorry minah. =(

I guess, I am definitely not made of metal/steel/iron, whatever. ahahaha. I never really sleep that long during the flight, or maybe I did (from what loga said). Don't know, to me, quite short. But anyway, the point is, elia haven have enough sleep, and after touch down, elia never get to sleep. So I guess body feeling tire, and protest by falling asleep. LOL.

Now, day 2. Boringggggggg~ Nothing to do at home. And, well, don't the problem lies in me, or what. The internet at home seems sloww too. =( Maybe I over-expect it.

Phew~ things starts to get better.

B.A.C.K.

2009-11-10T04:30:00.003+08:00

Well, now is 6.30 am in the morning. Did I mention what time I sleep and wake up nowadays? LOL. I wake up at 5 pm, and sleep in the morning around 7 am ? Depends on my tiredness. LOL. After I mention, my eyes starts to feel heavy, blaaaaaaaa.

Hmmm, come to think of it. Though I am anal in something. She is also anal in something too. Blaa. Just, nobody is perfect. And at least I know, some of my flaws. (for improvement..) Maybe she knows hers too? Elia also got get scolded when I am found to be overusing something? And she is too. Maybe because I mention to her before, hence, my karma.

Well, hopes I get to fall asleep fast later. I don't know. Though I am always said to be noisy, I think we are the same. Sometimes I too find it noisy, but I have no idea how to say it out. Hence, elia will just swallow the ti-bit of unhappiness. Blaa, I know I am petty. Sorry.

Blaa, that's why I wanted to move out and live alone. Isn't it better? Lesser chances of "abrasions". In which, nobody will be said anal of anything? Everybody will have a happy ending? Good friend, real smile, real reactions. Love each other more, at least a ti-bit more than now? kekeke.

But things always aren't that easy to settle. Blaaaaa. Money? And need to scout for another place, where it is reasonable. And need time to adapt, all over again? Blaaa. Don't know how.

Is there anyway to minimize the problems? Haiyaaaaaaaa. Life sux.

Sorry for complaining so much. I just need some place to drown my petty-ness. Blaaaa, I know I shouldn't feel this way, shouldn't think this way. Sorry. I am also quite disappointed in myself. Struggling to be good. I wish I am less self-centered too. Though I say so much, you still weigh a lot to me okay. Don't get me wrong. If any way, anyone feel that I am being evil here, talking bad about somebody, shouldn't say this, please informed me to delete the post. Blaaa.

=( Hope I won't be not happy.

2009-11-09T20:54:00.003+08:00

Exams are around the corner. Yet, elia still hasn't really start studying. What's wrong with me? I do anything but to study. Haiyaaaa. I seriously can't stand myself, but why am I still not studying?

People around me are having exams now. And my exams are like in one week time. Yet.. I seriously have no self-discipline. How can I build one now?

I want myself to start studying, and not lazing around. But how? Eeeee. I am seriously in a holiday mood. Do everything, cook, groceries shopping, went out, but start studying. (thou I feel the tension when the days are nearing, but I simply just drift. I hate myself for doing so.)

I don't seems to know a lot of things. And the current major issue is, I don't even seems to know how to control myself. =(

Well, just now something minor happened. Is just that my roommate took the wrong bowl of spaghetti, and I am like saying she took the wrong one and stuff. Though I thought, it quite an issue, cause, I don't wanna have so much, and I seriously thought she has a lot left. (I am thinking if she has enough.. but after pointing out to her, I find it quite redundant, am have no idea why I say all that.) Well, if you know me well enough, I just like to clarify stuff. Is not that I mind she taking my bowl of spaghetti, but just that I wan her to know she take the wrong one. (Though, sometimes, I seriously have no idea why I wan to clarify things still.)

Like when I know I had done something, and people accuse (or don't remember the incident), but I seriously remember it, so I will just say it, to clarify it. Thought it's quite meaningless. But I find that I have the right to clarify myself, and make it known. So for whoever has done it, they have their credit. And just to make sure everything is in a "fair-fair" situation, nobody feel they have been mistreat, or done anything extra. That's why I wanna make things very clear. Well, maybe this way, people do misunderstand me, or thought that I am anal, Sorry,

Okay, the point is, I am like that. I point it out, not because I wan back my spaghetti, but just to inform you that you are not having yours. So if you doesn't have enough, you can take some from "mine". Haiyaa. Whatever ah. I like I am anal at times. Don't know how people tolerant me also.

Blaaa, I oversee some conversation, complaining about me being this anal. So sorry. I don't know how to react thou.

After I being anal, I did think about it, and found it redundant, so I thought I should apologize. And I did. But I oversee the convo after. Don't how to react. Nothing much I can do, but to pretend I never saw.

LOL. Don't what happen. Why did I become like that. And why we become like that. Though we are best friend. But, why are we so fake. Why we can't say it to our best friend. I guess, it's normal to complain to someone? And it can be hurtful to tell them straight in their face?

I don't know. I did wonder, if someone say that straight in my face, how will I react? I don't know? I thought it would be good. But this is what I THOUGHT, but in actual situation, I don't know if it's the same as I thought or not.

Well, I'm not angry about that. Because I know I am at fault. Just like, I sometimes find people are anal about somethings too. The point for saying all this is not to back stab my friend and tell the whole world. But just, how I sort out my thoughts. Because, people have family, boyfriend and friends to talk to. I do have friends and family too, but I did tried to reach out for some, but they are not available. (Well, I am not complaining, I swear upon my heart.) And I thought, this is my blog, and is 24/7 always with me. So I thought, I could share this with my blog.

I know I always do thing without thinking, so if I really offend anybody, I apologize. I seriously, had lost myself, my mind, till, I don't know what is right or wrong now.

Oh ya, apart from this, I feel so sorry for my ex boyfriend and friends. I don't know how you all can stand me for who I am, but I sincerely appreciate you all, for still taking me as friend, and tolerant my nonsense. Especially my ex boyfriend (I know you won't be seeing this, but who cares, I am pouring out my thoughts to my blog), I am so sorry if I had mistreat you, badly. You know my memory, I only do things when I remember. So if I remember I am bad, I will treat you good. And I guess, this is what friends are for? Maybe?

I'm still on my path on learning this process, slowly. And it enlighten me something, that though friends complain and all, they still love you. So, if you happen to hear other people say of what your friend complain about you, don't get angry, but learn from it. They are all flaws,(thus people complain about it), hence is good that all must go away. -I hope I am right. If anyone disagree with me, you can talk to me about this. I am willing to listen and change, cos I am in the mid of learning too.

Well, I seriously need to start studying. But I had procrastinate it for so long. Anybody? Any idea how I can push myself? =( I feel so sorry for my dad, my family. I know, you all must be feeling very disappointed in me.

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I really mean it.

2009-11-03T22:29:00.004+08:00

Elia stop being flaky!!! LOL.

Blaaaaaa, it's impossible now. Nothing can be done. But why shadows of him appearing everywhere, saying "if you were here..."

Blaaaa, I know, I am the one. But it takes both hands to clap.

He is good. I am not good.

Why can't he be the one, at least, not into gamer. Blaaaaaa. Or is it me asking too much.

Elia, impossible. Forget it. Flaky moron. Go study!!

If only, you are not gamer. If only, I felt your love.
If only, I persist a little bit more. If only, I am not flaky.
If only...

=(

2009-10-14T20:08:00.001+08:00

I am so stupid.
I regretted.

I just need someone by my side now.
How useless.

='(

2009-10-11T14:23:00.002+08:00

Blaaaaaa, exams are like this coming week, but I'm not really study!! What is wrong with me. LOL. I totally forgotten how to study already. And it's like so important, which contributes to my result. LOL. ARGHHHhh.

I seriously feel like quitting. BLAAAAAAAAAAAA.

2009-10-07T13:09:00.001+08:00

Elia, stop complaining!!! Start studying and be less lazy.

I don't want to spoil the friendship.

Any idea how to resolve in a win-win-situation?

=(

2009-10-07T12:11:00.004+08:00

Why do I always gets scolding. Do I really deserve this? I don't know. "Will it be better if I leave alone?", this question always pop out, in my mind, after some negative feedback from her.

I know both of us is trying hard. I do feel irritated at times too, and most of the time, I just keep it to myself. (Maybe she too tries to hold?) Maybe, I am really thinking to much, like what my closest say. Am I?

Is reality really like that?

I feel like giving up.

=(

Last night saw her a bit moody, so I suggested that I help to print notes for both of us. End up getting scolded for being too noisy.

Maybe it's just my luck. It's just my luck that the printer finishes its ink. It's just my luck, that I bang onto her bed and awaken her up. It's just my luck for being noisy? (I don't remember I had ever purposely make any noise.) And its just my luck to stay up late, and on the lights for myself huh? (Cos printing no need lights? Eyesight not important. Not enough sleep cos I deserve it?)

Yea yea, everything my fault, my problem. Even by not knowing how the printer works also is my fault. For being dumb, and lack of exposure. Yea, I purposely left the lights on, and volunteered to print notes, cos I wanna awaken your sleep, make noises. Cos I got nth better to do. And I dislike sleeping.

I think I just need someone to hear me, vent my anger. Lend me a shoulder. HAHAHAHAHA.

I deserve everything. Yea, elia, you choose this path yourself. Be RESPONSIBLE.

=(

People say, feeling grew away easily when you are apart. I say, it grew away even further when both are together too. (Everything seems so naked; gets sick and tire of the truth, and seeing each other each day?) - though I don't want it to end this way, but what can I do? I have feelings too.

The stare is scary. Silence too.

=(

2009-10-07T12:09:00.001+08:00

I don't like the eyes, the look, the stare, the comment.

=(

2009-09-27T15:21:00.003+08:00

Hmmm, i think I nose bleed ah. SADS. Scarly I got some disease. LOL. Anyways, it might be due to the dust storm though. 1 thing I like about living here is to experience new things. But I do hope everything will have a good ending.

I hope, we can be better, though sometimes is hurting, sometimes is angry. But, I really don't how to make it better. Hopefully, everything will turn out to be fine.

H.O.P.E.

2009-08-18T12:28:00.003+08:00

wooookaaay. So long never blog here huh?? Spider webs are forming?? Anybody still reading?? ahaha. So busy, so stress. ahaahah.

Ever since the week before I came here, I started to be busy and all. Hmm, busy my few last clubbing in sg?? And packing of stuff, meeting friends, cherishing the last few moments I'll have in sg. ahaah, sounds like I'm dying?? ahaha.

Well, here I am, in Australia now, trying to adapt to this whole new environment, system and culture. I seriously meant something new okay. Well, this piece of big land's day is totally a new world to me, or should I say I am like an alien here. Oh man. Their day is short, when I meant short, it is reaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllly short. Okay, basically, the shops closes at 4 during sunday. OMG!! As compared to what time I used to wake up, and go out, you should be able to know what I am trying to say. And ohhh, their sky start to turn dark during 5 plus. That's scary.

Well, that's alot more to goo. Like their cab, the meter just "ticks" like crazy, can compete with how fast the seconds goes. Their buses and trains timing is even superb. The moment you missed one, and that's it. LOL. Also, it's really scary if you go to some place that is away from city. When you miss the last bus, and you have no penny in hand, I tell you, you can just die, and rot there. LOL.

One more thing, do you know, Australian do not use bolster??? And I am serious!! I search high and low for my bolster casing with loga, and guess what?? They thought we are referring to "poster" instead of "bolster" when we tried to ask them for help. OMG!!! Hmm, den guess what I am using as my bolster casing now?? ahahaha. They actually have something call "full body pillow". Wahh, it's really a long pillow casing, and is super big for my bolster. But, no choice. This is my only hopeeeeee, and I have to sew it myself. Oh my god, did I mention when is the last time that I do my sewing, and what grade I got for my home econs during the secondary school days?? ahahaha.

Well, as I said, I am still learning to adapt, and cope down here. It's really stress. First thing first, I have to get use living by myself, as in, washing, cooking, tidying, house chores all on me. In addition, there's something call homework. I am seriously dying. Their homework is not like what we used to have, questions and answers. But in fact, it's an essay kind of things, and is like minimum 1500 words and all. Okay, seriously dying. And that explain why elia nv been updating her bloggg.

Hmm, ya, I don't know issit I speak weird or what, cos they simply don't understand my english. Okay I admit mine is super lousy, butttt, they don't even understand loga's. Soo, we seriously look like an alien here. =(

ahaha, okay, update more later on okayyy? Elia still got alot of deadline to goo. Sads. Oh yea, I'm officially single. So sadddd. And weird. I have nothing to fall back to now, cant run home and say I wanna be housewife instead already. =((

A.D.A.P.T.

2009-06-30T05:20:00.002+08:00

Okaaaayyyy. I'm bored. I know, I disappeared for long. Well, my australia trip is more or less confirmed. Because, loga has got her confirmation. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddd, I got my loan approved. LOL.

Bad news iss, I haven got anything, and I am serious, anything done. Also, I think my health, I seriously doubt my heatlh now. After going dlbo with loga that night, I am seriously half deaf. Well, I did went to doc after like a week of half deaf condition, and what he said was, dun worry, you are fine, if it persist after 1 week, still, I will reccomend you a specialist. And yea, it was alrite like few days later, but, it came back again like after I fall flat. =(

Hopefully, get well soon to me okay. *pray*

2009-06-25T03:15:00.002+08:00

I dun think anyone would believe me if I said, I just came back from work. I mean, yea ah, a retail line can't possibly open till this late, so how can Elia work till now huh?? LOL. God knows. Whatever it is, I seriously think that somebody really make it a habit in scolding me huh.

Do you think that I have no feelings? Won't get sad or mad with whatever kind of attitude you throw to me?

I'm not feeeling good.

2009-06-08T12:49:00.003+08:00

Coool, Elia have not update for the past one month already? LOL. EXactly one month. Well, I should say I like my life, cos it's really pack with activities and work. Except the fact that I am still lazy and late for my work. So angry with myself, but why I jus cant do it right? =(

Anyways, ya, as I mention earlier, I quite busy with my work. And I have most of my off days for my driving. And mostly get to meet up friends after work or after my driving. LOL. And now, me quite anxious about my australia study trip. Cos me still waiting lolo to get her reply, then we'll head down to do the payment and everything together. SO, may god bless her get her replies fast okay. SO we can do our check up, payment, loans, tickets and all...

You think there's anyone I will miss if I ever go overseas for so long?? Of cos, I KNOW I will miss my family and friendsss. Hopefully when I get back to singapore, everyone still in contact and remains the same huh?

Was like reading minah's blog. Yeapp, I really really have fun with you at F1 pit building, the FUEL event. It was really fun, especially only with the two of us, and we are having this much of fun already. LOL, I really gonna miss it. Really. Lol, my tears are like coming out now. ANyways, it's really addictive to club with minah. And it's really sad that I doubt we will have this kind of chance again. It's more saddening that we girls, minah, mira, nurul, loga all didn't have our own proper group of clubbing nite huh. Is like everytime, somebody sure cant make it and all. SO SADDD.

Well, at least now I know, I really will miss my family, and friends. You guys rocks. LOL. Sound so not me but yeap, it depicts.

2009-05-08T03:28:00.001+08:00

The Bottom Line
Slow down the pace of your life, or else you could zip right past something great.

In Detail
Stop the engines and cool your jets today -- because if you don't slow down the pace of your life, you could zip right past something wonderful and miss out on a life-changing opportunity. Someone has been desperately trying to get your attention, but you have been so busy on other things that you haven't noticed. They deserve a good bit of your time, even if you don't think so. They have an important message to give you and you need to take them seriously.

Should I believe this or KARMA?

2009-04-30T00:44:00.002+08:00

Woooooo~
Finally I got to use my com, but for the time being. LOL. You should know why I MIA for so longgg; cause my adaptor spoilt. And all thanks to Sandy's adaptor, I am able to use it for the time being, till she found a buyer for her laptop. So ya.

Time actually helps in somethings and worsen the other. Good to see that time actually flies, so that we all are graduads and all. But also due to time, me become like this, bankrupt. LOL. For now, like 12.52 am now, me really hate time. Things actually drift in time. And from time to time, you would actually see it getting more and more obvious. This is eventually why I am afraid of time. Oh ya, and more people hate time too, cause it actually brings them wrinkle, poor health body and all. I don't know. I love time when it passes fast, like when you're at work, bored, school. But sometimes I also hate time passes so fast that actually your happy moment is so short.

Or maybe, its not the time fault. Its our fault; my fault. My fault for not appreciating time, my fault for not treasuring them. And my fault for being for "UN-easily-contented" girl.

I'M SAD'NSCARE.

2009-03-31T23:29:00.002+08:00

hmm, me got good news and bad news. But the good news can be also bad news, and the bad news cam be good news too. lol.

Well, the initial good news is, I found a job, and I'll be starting tml. lol, fast. It is actually a retail kind of job, so I am pretty quite new to it. It can be bad news as this also means that elia have no much time, or flexible schedule on my own. Oh Lord, hopefully my driving and work won't clash.

And here comes the bad news, my laptop is ready for collection which is pretty good, but stupid fujitsu don't wanna help me change my wireless card, cum adaptor spoilt and, warrenty officially expired. GG lo.

Think, my entry will always be monotone, lifeless due to the color. haiyaaaa.

Well, currently I spot the most killer weakness of mine, which became pretty much obvious lately, which is elia being super duper indecisive. Argh, this is killing me. Like me really can't choose between to apply or not apply for SIMge, and cant decide if I should go for job interview, what job to accept, and even now, which shoes to buy. I mean, I seriously had forgotten how I came this far. Did I really never make any decisions till now? I am suoer doubtful of what I want, and most importantly, what have I become now.

Oh lord, can elia regain her decision power, and know what she wants, so that she would decide without being regretful?

C.H.O.I.C.E.S.

2009-03-27T02:34:00.002+08:00

I might be jus out of my mind to be mad at, or moody. lol. Might possibly be menses coming. As you wish. It's all fine, really. Any price to pay for people to get happy. Cos that is the only thing that I know.

R.A.N.D.O.M.

2009-03-23T16:38:00.002+08:00

SADDED!!! My com is gone once again. Hopefully I could still get it fixed under warrenty, if not it sure costa bomb. Oh man, I wish it could be fixed asap so I could get myself a temp job asap too. Ever since I enrol myself into BBDC, I began to know what is it like to be broke, and how annoying and important money can be. =.=

Whatever it is, money really make wonders; and no money really goes beggar. Arggh! Even university also wants to make money by collecting the application fee. My goodness.

Haiyaa, now that I wanna make use of my com and use photoshop, upload pic and all, my com gives me problem. Listen up ah, not that Elia is lazy or wat to not upload pic and update my profile ah. Sometimes, it's just not even up to you to decide. LOL.

I miss my friends. Hopefully we could cherish the as much days we have to hang out. And hopefully I could hang out with you like how we usually do in school, if you see this. I need you too, at times, just like how much you need me. Good luck. =D

I.M.I.S.S.Y.O.U.

2009-03-10T03:28:00.002+08:00

Haiyaaa, so many things this month. Sadded you know. LOL. Well, there's is this offer which the sony erission gives me on friday, saying that there's this one to one exchange program, whereby they can exchange a new phone for me. But well, the only problem is that they run out of black, so ya, I have to sacrifice for abit if I want to exchange for the new one, if not, they will just repair my phone.

Then, as usual, I'm in dilemma again. I called, Sandy, asking her, but you know la, sandy and me sama sama, so we ask for her bf's opinion, which decision is to change. But still I hesitate, until the person called and said that they left the last one, and I took it. (And till now, I still think the "left one" is part of their strategy!)

So ya, happily awaiting my new phone. But who knows what, when I collected the phone I am extremely regretful. Like what the hell, how can you define new?? I thought maybe the phone is in a box or something, but well, they just pass me the phone, and only the phone itself, and say that it's new. Moreover, I spot a few scratches and red mark on it. LIKE IT'S TOTALLY USED! So Loga help me to complain, but, you know what, they actually made us waited like idiots and, came back with a change of the cover. LOL. So, from that it's new la? Just a change of cover? Moreover, the cover now, is like even more pathetic. No X1 label, more scratches, and there's still a red mark. And I AM SUPER UNSATISFIED.

Saturday is seriously a super bad day for me. First the IDP, wasted me hours, from taking application forms, completing and to submitting them. Moreover, what's so bad about it was, the people who work there, not those who are tending the booth, but those who help out in enquires outside the booth area, and those giving out applications forms, and those collecting forms. Oh my god, I seriously can faint. It's their attitude.

I mean, come on, I know we are asking a favor from them; for an example me and loga was like requesting for forms from them, and the guy just left after loga finish her say, to go get what she requested for. And guess what, he never get everything she ask for, and he actually scold me for not telling him what I need before he went to take them. LOL. Like I WOULD'VE STOP HIM EH. I mean, we are not the one who like purposely ask him to go get, and come back, and ask him again right. Then the filling up the applications to asking the codes for the course is like totally screwed. If there is a computerize system when students could have apply the choices of school and courses they are interested all at one goal is better. As this could actually save me from doing extra work. Like, I have 9 applications, and I wanted to submit them to the first guy. He nearly faint, and ask me to come again tomorrow as I did not copied my certs. But, after I copied and went to the second guy, he say only 5 applications were allowed. (OKAY, NOW I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHO IS RIGHT. You see, from the first guy, and his conversation to another girl; where he actually told the girl beside him about the total applications he had to do and the girl said good luck; so in this case, it means possible to submit 5 or more applications right?) And one more thing, they were like showing a "you are too exaggerate" kind of tone, and face to me. Come on la, think in my position, if I scored well, and will definitely have a place somewhere, will I do this? I mean, of course I don't think I have high chances in getting in any school, and am trying my luck right. (If you were me, wanting to go to any uni for a degree, and this is the last or one and only resort, I bet you were do the same thing.)

Then after, it's the phone thingy lining up that spoil my mood, and then the go home part which two people adds on to it. Okay it's not your fault, it's just that I had bad day from the start already.

Hmmm, I was looking through our old time picture just now, from year 1 till now, all the gatherings with my RP clique and secondary school clique, I seriously hope it can turn back time. Time that we used to have is always the best time ever. Now, I can already see signs of drifting. And we were so close and fun last time. Where had all these go to? I ever like so called lost connection with this friend. How are you, my friend?

From all these, I can really see that, February/March is really not my month.

SADDED

2009-03-05T00:33:00.002+08:00

LOL, I'M BACK! For a bit. LOL.

Hmmm, I know I know, I had been disappearing for like a month or so. Well, after my birthday party, which I shall call it successful, except that there's some unexpected people who never turns out and half of the food gone waste. I definitely learn a lesson from this.

Straight after the party, I went home pack, and off I go Malaysia with minah and her family. We went KL, then Genting. I shall say I enjoy most of the journey, though there's like small dispute with minah, but still, I enjoy shopping with her at KL mall. COS, I GOT MYSELF A LEATHER JACKET. LOL. WOOOHOOO. Oh ya, not only that, still got a lot a lot of stuff. kekeke.

Oh yaaaa, the sweetest thing was, they actually celebrate my birthday for me on the dot. How nice, with yummy ice cream cake. ahaha. I never really expect them to be so sweet to surprise me with a cake, cos well, you know, I'm actually a friend of minah, so yaaaa. ahaha.

Well, we were back on my birthday, and that is so boringggggg. Oh my god, I celebrated my birthday in advance and guess what, I feel so empty, cos I whole day rot at home ah, but nevermind, it's over.

After which, is valentine day, where I spent mine at Geylang. LOL. Fun right? I know, I'd suggested that. LOL. kekeke, well, I simply love the food that, and I spent it with sandy again. LOL, I don't know I'd spent how many valentine day with Sandy already, two? LOL, so sorry for sandy, me disturb disturb only. kekeke.

Hmmm, after everything, then it starts my rotting life. LOL, lucky got sandy to rot with me. Everyday, eat sleep eat sleep only. Almost everyday, when sandy is free, I will go and disturb disturb her. LOL. Lucky she never complain only.

Well, now, I'm quite confuse. Hmm, I got accepted on a job offer at NUH. I am suppose to be happy, but, I wanted to further my studies (which I'm also not sure if any school wants to take me in, cos of my GPA), and this is a permanent job from an agent (don't know how her commission works also). I think the offer for what I am now is consider attractive, but, it's not related to my studies, and I don't if I can really have it as a career?

Moreover, this means that I will have lesser time for my driving lesson. And, for the time with my friends, which I always wanted to go ice skating, and clubbing. But well, never mind.

U.N.C.E.R.T.A.I.N.T.Y.

2009-02-07T01:43:00.002+08:00

Hmm, tml, or shall I say later, will be my birthday celebration. I hope everything will be alright, run smoothly and all. The food, please, shall not gone to waste.

Hope today's bad luck redeem for tml's smoothness run.

Oh god, bless for my birthday celebration.

G.O.O.D.L.U.C.K.

2009-02-02T03:37:00.002+08:00

HAAAAIYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAA.

Seriously, I don't believe in "is the effort that counts" now. Hmmm, I know I put in a lot of effort in making my 21st bdae a good one. But, what I get out of it actually?

Like, isn't everyone wants to be happy on their birthday, and even, looking forward for it to come or whatsoever. Moreover, I think the birthday celebration chalet surprise that I had previously, from my fellow friends is wayyyyy better than the feeling I have now. At least, I don't have to worry about who all coming, who all not coming, like who I want them to come will not not come, and at least, if they plan, they will know when they will not be free and avoid that. Most importantly, they were all there prepared for my presence. And not I am there expecting all to come. You see, waiting for one main one will be easier and even more happening than waiting and worrying for those who suppose to come. It's super disappointing to see and hear the valid reasons they had. You know, like the reason is super valid till you really have no choice, but to accept, thou you are so unwilling and all, but no choice, you have to be considerate. Arghhhhhh.

I wanna be considerate, I wanna be happy, and I wanna it to be fun. But, is hard. I does not only depend on you. Everybody that are suppose to make it happen are also important. I don't know. I really have the feeling that it will be like the "overlapping bricks", one affect another, and then, ta-daaaa, you will get disappointment.

I seriously hope, everyone I want, and I think is important to be around, for my sake, thou, I know the environment or surrounding may be new; don't know each other. But I really want to be selfish this time, at least this time, for my birthday, can I?

I know, it's hard ah. The affecting factors is really affecting them very much, a lot, plentiful, greatly ..., and I'm just so little as compare to that.

Hope not, but possible ... ?

D.I.S.A.P.P.O.I.N.T.

2009-01-29T19:01:00.003+08:00

haiyyyyyaaaaaa. So busy nowadays. Thou school end already, but ever since the ending part of the school, it becoming the starting part of the busy, stressful life. LOL, not as in working stressful, but, bout preparing planning stressful. Okay, don't think you all understand, as I always have problem communicating. ahaha.

Well, before school end, everybody was busy preparing for graduation hi tea, buying clothes, tidying home and shopping for cny, finding job, and taking photos with frens. Haiyaaaaa, busy busy since the last few days of school. Went bugis, orchard cityhall to shop for clothes. This year CNY is very different. I don't even feel like going shopping to buy clothes. Don't know what to buy. Moreover, I don't even have the feel that CNY is around the corner; same goes to school ending.

I'm becoming some senseless, or emotionless girl eh? LOL. I don't know.

Nowww, after everything, I am still so stressful. ARGHHH. After high tea, after all the clothes shopping and CNY preparation, now I have to plan for my birthday celebration. ARGhhh, one after another. There is times I wanted to give up you noe. Till now, I still cant even have a proper venue that is affordable and fun. I have no idea already. Only some fren that are willing to help by saying it will work. But ya, sometimes, the hope is really very very bleak. Even till now, when I finally wan a chalet, but still, it's too late ah. Everything is fully booked. Not that I never do anything, never put in effort, but sometimes, things are not under your control. Well, sometimes I seriously don't why all this effort for my birthday, where it actually can be as fun for my past few birthday celebrations. It's just how nice to have a surprise or something, especially it's 21st, a significant one. But well, sy say otherwise.

I don't know.

Nowww, I can only pray for it. Oh god, please help.

C.L.U.E.L.E.S.S.

2009-01-22T01:48:00.004+08:00

Here comes my 2009 post,

Hmmmm, apologies for being away for long. Lol. I seriously getting lazy after my laptop was sent to fix. Due to my fault for dropping my laptop on the floor (well it actually was still working fine straight after the incidence, and few days later...) which cause the hdd, fan faultiness. Well, sent to fix, and i actually get back weeks after, for the waiting's of all these parts and testing.

And you know, the eagerness of blogging will tend to fade away, and the compiling of missing post will tend to build up even more. Hence, the unwillingness and laziness begins to play their part.

Well, got questioned by quite a number of friends on why the lack of post. So ya, here I am, trying to start, and fill up my post once again yea.

More pictures coming up. (I seriously hope that blogger would improve their program regarding the uploading of picture. Maybe they could have partner with silverlight or something, to save time on clicking the pictures one at a time, and waiting for only 5 pictures to be uploaded each time.)

Oh yeaaaa, 2 more days to "graduation". There's reason for "" because, it's not official, but it actually marks an end to my studies in RP.

And, I actually enroll myself in BBDC. And actually complete my basic theory lesson and passed my evaluation in two days. Now comes the waiting for my actual BTT which is on the 20 feb. Hopefully by then, all the theories is still in my head eh. kekekeke.

F.I.L.L.I.N.G.

2008-12-21T04:13:00.012+08:00

LOL, me MIA for quite a few days since my holiday start eh?? Hmmm, actually I had this last minutes plan to go for the trip to malaysia ah. Stupid bf, actually dun wanna bring me along. And I whine, nag, complain, then he decided to bring me go. Hmmm, the reason why I am so noisy is becos, Sandy and cousin also going overseas trip to genting, whereby me and bf actually was asked to go too, but he he he, cant take his leave during tat time, so he said, if I can go, den we buy tix together and go. So yaaaaaaaa. ahaha. He must bear with my noises. LOL.

Eh, and ya, all my noises actually works, and he brought me along. Which is quite rushing. We only get to decide to go on the day itself, and hence, rush back home, take clothes and passport, and off I go. LOL. Never really have the time to prepare and all, which halfway thru, I actually have the intention to not follow them. =.=

The whole trip was rather, not planned properly. (Actually can see from the way we rushes for the trip eh?) Hmmm, most of the time were spent on travelling, then, eat, sleep. LOL. Don't really see the objective of going to malaysia thou. Initial plan were to go for 3 days, but end up go for nearly a weeeeek. Lol.

M.A.L.A.Y.S.I.A.

2008-12-12T22:37:00.000+08:00

LOL, today, on my way home, there's this uncle, super kiasu. LOL, I think I shall give him a most kiasu man I ever seen in train.

Know what he did??? He actually ran to the empty seats beside me. (Just when he spotted it. LOL.) And even the auntie that happen to grab the seat on my another side stunned too. She was really stun. (as in still standing ther,stun, looking at him.) And there's also people opposite me smiling. LOL. ahaha. Ehhh, also rite. Know what he did in train, was like fidget here and there, buttoning his shirt. The best part is, he even take out both his socks, and wear in back again. LOL. HMmmmmm.

S.T.U.N.N.E.D.

2008-12-11T18:43:00.004+08:00

2008-12-09T01:03:00.000+08:00

Friday, expected to not go school thou. But not planned ah. LOL. Cos of something ah. Hmm, so went to meet minah for abit, (she also never go sch =.=) then went to meet shuyi. She accompany me to my used-to-be-workplace, divine ah. LOL. Hmmm, this will be very last time going there I think. Marks an end. Nothing left for me to go there again, I think. I have collected everything that I need to collect. And, since, they have a lot more staff than they need, good for them. And it's really pointless for me to go back again? Hmm, thou I missed working there, but now, everything change. I got to really get myself to another job. ahaha.

Ehh, went to meet sandy after, for dinner, and then we went hui house for mahjiong. LOL. Get to share with sandy, and we nearly lose thou. Win a bit, like 2 bucks, lol, better than lose thou. But well, I never take, so we contribute it to karen, sandy's sis, cos they really lose alot.

Hmmm, stupid bf came out, but he insisted on going clubbing with his fren to zouk. He even reject the idea on bringing me along. And, he insisted on going despite me being angry, so I say, if he really wanna go, I shall start my clubbing days again. LOL. Eh, when I go, he ask me go back, and I did okay. Now. Nevermind. I got my unlimited pass. ahaha. Thou in the end he did not get to go, cos the zouk event end, and he went to eat instead. But, TOO BADDDD ahh. LOL. He has the intention initially, so no point saying he never go and all. BLAAAAAAA. LOL. I admit I'm quite rebellious ah. LOL.

Hmmm, went back after, cos he is super duper late home. Never even reply me. =.=

Ehhh, saturday bored day. Thought of going out with bf. Butttttt, haiya. Nevermind ah. You know. LOL. Ehh, went to eat with his family instead. Then go his house. Hmm, my bf is a serious big fat liar thou. LOL. He was playing his game again, and this time I got no tv to watch, cos his family watching something that I dun watch (soccer, animal planet... etc), so ya, I told him I am bored, and he say "okok, after I complete my quest". Then ya, nobody wanna party him, so he say again "give me 5 mins, if nobody wanna party me, then I'll let you use the com". And I timed him, 5 mins up, kk, so he let me use the com reluctantly. And guess what, whatever I do with the com; watch show online, he nag nag nag, says "this you can do at home/ you know I got limited time to use com already you still lidat and bla bla bla". So ya I give up, and let him use the com. Waited outside at living room for sandy all, for mahjiong session. LOL, this time, lost thou.

Sunday, went to sentosa with bf and his bunkmates. (Pictures soon.)

Any underlying meaning. Couldnt be. me.

L.A.Z.Y.

2008-12-06T03:41:00.003+08:00

MINAH'S 19th birthday on 4 dec. Celebrating with us at clark quay. Hmmmm, as compared last year, I think this year is abit down thou. No much surprises and ideas this year, hope minah dun mind eh? The more I think of hers, the lesser I want my birthday to come ehh.

I'm turning 21, so old, and it's like 21, some significant age, and of cos, expecting for more eh? But, I doubt it will be. It always happens this way, the more you expect the more disappointing it will be. So usually I will tell myself to expect less, but still, eventually, I still felt disappointment in the end thou. Useless idea. LOL. (if you did/ going to do this, strike tis out of ur list. It's hard to lie to yourself? LOL.)

Well, we went to fish market manhattan to have our dinner. The food was rather, disappointing? I thought they were supposely to be famous for their fish eh? But the promotional set meal that we all ordered is super, hard-to-chew? LOL. Isnt fish should be soft and smooth, easy to bite? But this, is really like chewing a rubber? Hard and rough texture of the fish. Oh man!! LOL. But, I like the fries thou, it's like swensen friesssss. =DD Yum yum. =)

KKKK, initially, we make minah waited, accompanied us to walk up and down, to toilet, atm and etc... Guess she knew that we were just stalling the time ahhh. Super duper obvious. LOL. I was like preparing the cards and all. Waiting for lolo and all. Then after which, everything is done, we finished our food, and minah proceed to the toilet. Guess what? Initially were to surprise her with the cake ah, and the smart elia, actually wanted to go find her, and who knows, I missed/slipped her. And end up she arrive before me. LOL. Okay nevermind. Then the cake is like super sweeeet. (Did I mention? We bake the cake for her?) Andddddddd, we all were super duper full ahhh. LOL.

After, we went to walk around clark quay, taking pictures and all, in order to digest. LOL. And left the four of us for the drinking session. Hmmmm, I think it was cool lo. LOL. I always wanted this kind of ocassion, where you can sit down in one pub/cafe, drink, chitchat. LOL. But ya, we only shared a jug, which is not even tipsy for me. LOL. And minah, justin were super high. LOL. Justin was all red, and minah is talking nonsense ah. LOL. FUNNY ah. ahaha. But well, it's her bdae, she should enjoy.

Haiyaaaaaaa, I dunno what to say to her bf thou. It's her bdae, but he still blame her for this and that. ANd you know what? He even make her sad and guilty, cos he cant do anything for her? LOL. (Cos he keep on apologising and alllllll.) I mean, it's her bdae rite? Is her day, where she is free from restrictions and constraint. Does things she wan her way, jus for her to stay happy. And look what a partner, where usually partner will only go all out jus to make the other half smile, he make her cry. LOL. Hope you really cherish her and do what you can do, not blaming yourself for what you cant do (since you cant do anything, jus dun dwell with it and make ppl around you unhappy rite?). Please dun hurt her ah, you should know your place in her heart rite? Learn to trust can? "Rule 13: If you cant trust them, you haven't got a relationship."

Haiyaaaaaaa, dunno what happen to my friends thou. Behaving so weird. Not meeting and all. I think, it's really interesting when some drift, while you know it's happening, but there's nothing you could do, but to see them leave ah? I'm tire of seeing this scene playing over and over again. And could somebody pleaseeeee, stop me.

I.T.S.H.A.R.D.

2008-12-04T03:12:00.000+08:00

Mondayy, so bored. lol. I went schooool, eat, back home. Eat again. Then sleeeep? LOL. Realllly bored day.

Then tuesday, cant wake up for school. =.= Actually dun have the intention to ah. Then initial plan was to go school, then run wif them after. Well, I nv go sch, so I thought I could still go school to run wif them. Butttt, my place was raining heavily, so I thought it will be canceled. Didn't know they still carry on with it at stadium. LOL. However, me at home, also did something. LOL, update again ah.

Then, I went to meet sandy. Plan to play badminton, but turn out, go running instead. LOL. Cos, court no lights anymore. And we ran a 5 km route. Hmm, I wanna run more, actually always wanted to run, but there's nobodyyy to go with, moreover, elia wanna run at night, which I afraid I might be in the headline the next morning, so nv. LOL. But well, I told sandy that this should be carry out weekly ahh. Hopefully it will.

Meeeee bored and sleeeeeepy, and hungrrrrrry. =(

Somehow somewhat, I think somebody had changed. Don't know. Is it me? LOL. I also think I recently become quite, lost of words. I didn't talk much, and had nothing to chat with friends thou. I dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooo what is wrong with me. Or am I thinking too much? Actually I'm still pretty normal??? LOL.

H.U.N.G.R.Y.

2008-12-01T14:41:00.000+08:00

Whhewww~
Done done. LOL, FYP is finally over. It is, hopefully okay ah. I hope I can at least pass. I'm not really active in my presenting, and answering, though. =( But ehhhh, It's over. LOL. Oh ya, know what, it's really quite bad luck ah, I tear my pumps. =( (cos too long nv wear. =( ) After FYP, dev all suggested to go for a drink to celebrate. So we went to eat, and drink after. LOL, the place is "superb" lo. And the funny part was, albert being drunk. LOL. All the things he say, "thanks for everything, I feel like I'm in heaven...the world with beatiful girls...." And it's seriously, omg, he's really drunk, followed with "ahahaha".

And you know what, my phone go low batt that day. OMG!!!!!!!! Life without phone is so lost, stupid, sucky... Oh man, supposely, initialy plans was to go wen an's house warming. Butttt, due to the malfuction of phone, and I seriously dunno where he live, how to get there, and even, how to meet gina. It is like so shitty.

After drinking went orchard to get something for a fren. Hmmm, you know, the feeling after you drink, plus now, shopping. LOL. Omg. It's kindda nice thou. ahaha. Laughing all the way wif lolo, while waiting for fren ah. Bought two pairs of shoes in a day. How great eh. Oh man, elia is like spending non-stop????

Hmm, den after lolo need to rush home for some family activity, and elia was left all alone. Going city hall for dinner. ANd know what, okok, first it was my pump, then, phone low batt, and nowwww, I need to stand at one corner, wait for somebody for 1 and half hour. Hmmmmmm, it seriously sucks when I stand there, waited one and half hour aimlessly, standing, tireeeeee. (I even hold my peeee. LOL,) Not that I dun wanna sit, is that, I'm wearing a dress, which u dun expect me to sit on the stairs showing people the obscene part ah? Anddd, I wanted to pee, but I scare once I leave, they wont be able to find me. (Maybe thought I left or what?) =( Ahhh, it simply sucks.

Hmmmm, and Sunday. Real bored day. Went to treat mum dim sum, with younger sis. Cos her bdae is around the corner. Then after, went home. Rot. Then sleep. The boredest and earliest night I ever sleep k. Seriously. Cos, my laptop is with L. Then, no laptop, no entertainment. I wanna buy the clothes, from online spree, also cannot. =.= Spreee over liaoo. So saddddddd. =(

Well, I started with my book already. And yeap, I need to learn to be independent. I need to learn to be happy on my own. =) I wanna start taking driving license. Since, I have so much timeee.

L.E.A.R.N.I.N.G.

2008-11-28T18:25:00.002+08:00

Thursday, skipped class again. =.= Need to do poster. Fyp evaluation approaching. So nearrrrrr. Haiyaaa. Shaun say he wants a mock with us, but after, he said he had a meeting to attend, and say he'll just leave a comment to us about our poster, and ask us to edit later. LOL.

Mixed feeling. Good to not have the mock, but, bad cos he did not give us pointer about it. Don't know. So lolo was saying if we can have one, on our own, as since we are all there. Hmm, I totally screw it all up I think. =( Haiyaaaaa, I seriously don't know what I am suppose to say, what is the purpose, what should I say, am I correct? Hmmmmm, I don't know. This sems is like bad-der than last sems. Elia feel more blank. =(

Went to meet sy, then, supposely head back to bb. However, called ah na, and realise they were at cck pasar malam, so I guess we could tag along for a bit. And ya, for that bit, I bought a dress, again. LOL. Ehhh. Hmmm, after, went to find sandy, at westmall for dinner.

Oh ya, we went wm sakae for our dinner. ANd I order a beef ramen. Know what?? It is so not niceeeeeeee. LOL. I couldnt even force myself to finish it. ANd and, their fried tofu, you know the ageshi or something, OMG lo. LOL, the sauce is really limited. (First time see such thingy sia!) Not like other japanese resturant that we went, had more than enuff of sauce. (Which I usually see.) Hmmmm, the sashimi, and all was okay. Soooooo, you know what to NOT ORDER the next time you go there ah. Never order their noodle. LOL. So sticky lo.

Hmmm, friday, LOST day. Lol. So lost, super duper lost. I seriously dunno how to say it. So lost w/o lolo or sy in the morning. Plus, ah na never call also. Then, after, in school, so stresss. Though problem was easy, but, it is super stressful with UT laters (which I have yet to prepare earlier), and FYP posters to complete, plus ppt and presentation.

UT was so sucky. I seriously, first time. I couldn't answer a single question of it. My mood is super down down down.

Called and smsed ah na for the whole evening. Wanna ask if she could accompany for dinner. But, I don't know what happen to her, no replies no nothing. Simply MIA for now. But, blame Elia ah, too rely on people only. =.= (ah na went for meeting, then movie. =( nv reply elia thou. but she called ah.)

One thingy bad, everything later would not be smooth I guess. (And ya, true, guess what, I wanna drink my sugar cane drink, and I put ice everything, and drink. YUCKSS. LOL, spoilt already. =.= ) Hope tomorrow would be better day k. Hope nothing screwww.

L.O.S.T.

2008-11-26T13:26:00.000+08:00

hmm, I wanna get the book, "RULE OF LOVE". But quite ex. LOL. I'm like heeding wen an's advice thou, to read book and understand about life. But, but, but, it's hard to kick a start, thou I found a book, but, I didnt know books can be that exp. LOL. Ehh, well, I wanna buy ah, waiting for tong or shuyi's pop card.

Hmmm, went school on tuesday. Having lab, which need to draw blood sample again. And you know what, lol, somebody in my class fainted while drawing her blood. Everyone panick sia. And I don't know what to do, stun. Well, actually I no need to do anything ah. LOL. Oh ya, I did, dev asked me to help her cover cover. Hmmmm, well, I guess it's faci's first time facing such situation, which initially she dunno what to do.

UT and FYP after. So stress, but ut questions were okay. Hopefully I can get better grade to pull up my grade eh. But, it's easy for my, it will be easier for others. Plus the moderation. Arghh. Hopefully I get at least c or, b, better still. LOL. Ehh, fyp, so confusing. LOL. But still, need to do. Everything gonna end soon, sooner or later.

Went to pasar malam to get my phone a screen protector. LOL, I asked L about my phone, whether does it look like it's used, and he said "ya". So saddddd ah. ahaha. Like it's the second day only and I use it till lidat. =( Haiyaaa, I don't know how to take care. =( Ehh, well, I went to get the protector, which cost me 5 bucks. LOL. Ehh, I did ask the person beforehand, if they include helping me to put. (Cos ah na say that time she go, it doesnt include, need to add a dollar more.) But yeap, the person say, must add 2 dollar more, plus a kidding at the back. Hmm, the person quite friendly ah. LOL, cos he also add that if not nice can tell him, he will help me make till it is nice. LOL. In which, think he regrets saying ah. Cos in total, I wasted his 3 screen protector. LOL. He really help me change till nice nice. So good. LOL.

Had curry fish head for my dinner. YUM YUM. Thou it looks super red. But still okay. =) I can take it. ahaha.

No stars for the night. =( hmm, when walking home, I will look up for stars in the sky, and I always have this fairy tale thought, that my prince charming will be waiting for me at... But ya, my bf taught me, drama and fairy tale are all fake. Fairy tale are meant to be told only. Hmm, but how nice to be in fairy tale. And this is why, since young, I had an ambition in becoming actress, who can get to be in the fairy tale. But well, not pretty enuff. And most importantly, so short, stupid, no talent, and not figure. (This is when I realise, I can only be normal living human being, no fairy tales, no drama like life.) But when I went cambodia, I got to know this girl, who is really living in drama. Think drama only exist, when you have the money?

Maybe I only deserve what I deserve?

G.U.L.I.T.Y.

2008-11-24T19:53:00.001+08:00

hmmm, skipped school today again. =.= Thought I would go, but after bathing, checking whether there is lab or not, time flew. My concept was, if I would be late, and I know I would get a C, I wouldnt want to go. So ya, cos of the downgrade fault. I think this is the main reason for alot of people in skipping school ah. LOL.

So sad, so mean lo. Get scolding from dev until like, I'm worst than anything. Haiyaaa. Whatever. Though I know is for my own good, but does he really need to use all those words. =(

Well, shuyi and ah na for whatever thing they have, school and work accordingly. LOL. Shuyi came my house, watch video, study for ut, toilet. LOL. And while elia do the sleeping, tidy my clothes, cut my nails, and bla bla... LOL. After the two days of working and lacking of sleep. Hmm, elia finally get to rest, and do what I need to do at home.

Then, we proceed to westmall to had our lunch with gina at subway. =) ahaha, I tried subway club today. It is super duper nice. ahaha. Oh ya, quite a bad experience?? Cos, initially, the cashier forgotten to collect money from me, but I stand down there, waiting for him to do his stuff and come back and collect the money. Secondly, he overcharged me. (Lol, the second or third time being overcharged at subway.) What a day. LOL.

Annnnnnndddddddd, you know what? I got a new phone. LOL. It is the model that I've been wanted before it finally launch. But, now, I think it's a waste of money. Abit guilty. =( Hmmm, I actually thought of getting a normal phone after my N95 got stolen. But now, I'm using another ex phone. LOL. And I dunno how to set the ringtones. =( (Basically, still noob with it ah.) =(

Hmmmm, went to np after, cos ah na wanna meet her frens. And we got to play with helium. LOL, cos her fren is running a StompAIDS booth. So yaaa. And, we get to drink free bubble tea too. ahaha.

Well, ut tml. =( So sian. I really hope I can do well, in order to pull my grades. The ut1 grade were seriously horrible. =( Hmm, and need to rush for my fyp poster tml and so on... =.= Saturday is having my big day, fyp evaluation. Hopefully, everything will run smoothly. Bless me. =)

B.L.E.S.S.I.N.G.

2008-11-23T20:53:00.000+08:00

=) =(

2008-11-23T00:58:00.004+08:00

Lol, abit charbroiled.

keke, sandy!!

My cuppy cakes.

Meiyue's.

Cute ah, the cuppycake couple.

SANDY!!

Taken at workplace.

My camera simply, sucks.

LOL, look like they posing for something eh?It's abit too sunny.

Ah na wan smaller face..

POPEYES!!!!

Mash potato is nice!! Chicken, okay, prefer KFC chicken thou.

The bun is special.

Lol, cute ah.

I think, she pretty.

Know how to dress up,

and hear that she's rich.

So good ah.

LOl, like some love movie pic.

See gina, so cute her. LOL.

LOL, caught taking pic of them. keke.

(Look carefully.)

See the mini, oh man.

Think they are from the same owner.

Similar

Plate no. So rich lo. =

Hmmm, ken going china today. And yeap, just sent him off. I shall say, Gina has grown up. =) Don't sad no more ah. Still got me, everyday free girl. LOL. And yeapp, finally went popeye today. Hmmm, mash potato is niceeeee. And the bun is special, but abit salty eh. Hmmm, never really eat much, cos I ate my dinner before. Jus tasting them out for abit ah.

Ehhhhhhh, and you know what??!? LOL. Today is also my first time, having insufficient money to pay. LOL. I gave the taxi uncle 50, but he say he has no change. Ask me how. LOL. How I know? Hmmm, so we both stun and think for abit. And Elia went back home to grab a 10 bucks from my daddy. LOL. Luckily, he is there. LOL. If nottttttt, I seriously dunno how. LOL. =.=

Went home around 1 plus and sleep around 2 yesterday. Woke up 5 plus today. And went work. So boring lo. But one more day to go though. ahaha. Actually I prefer this more than other job ah. Cos just do something that is very straight forward. Hmmm, except the fact that it is super duper dusty. Hence, I'm down on cough, and abit of flu. Plus not enuff sleep result in headache. LOL. What if Eliane die. Will you cry for her? LOL.

Well, get to know that, in this world, there's actually a walking tom yum. LOL. ahaha.

Hmmmm, hope everything is fine. Girl gets okay soon k. =) Still got lots of friends, fun and laughter. Live the way like how we are before? Though, we are not as good, as thoughtful. =( ahahaha. Don't get so stress up with ur work.

W.O.R.K.

2008-11-21T01:55:00.000+08:00

The Bottom Line
There is joy beneath the surface of everything right now -- you can finally see it.

In Detail
There is joy beneath the surface of everything right now, and you are in the exact right frame of mind to see it! Look again at that stranger walking by you -- don't you see a smile? Whether they're flirting with you or not isn't even relevant. They are happy -- and that will make you happy. You are clearly in a strong period of ease right now, where you can put in half the effort to get the full reward. Things are coming to you more quickly and people are working around your schedule.

LOL, abit...hmmmm, ask minah.

NURUL's 21st CELEBRATION

2008-11-21T00:04:00.005+08:00

I'm not gonna say more, pictures just paints everything. =D
Went to celebrate nurul's bdae at arab st.
Lolo getting ready.
while elia doing what she can do to kill time. LOL.

Yeapp, there's the private room.

The four of them.

The guy serving us.

From BAD to GOOD.

So weird. (Is it him or is it me?)

the BDAL GURL!!

Minah will definately kill me.

The mixed grilled kebab.

And theirs sumptuous meal.

The rice is super duper NICE!!

Mira naughty2.

The shisha. Lolo's ture to...

I'm so reluctant.

But for the sake of the bdae girl. = Minah the great smoker. LOL.

Nurul and her cuppyCAKE. LOL.

Happy 21st!! Hope you like the cakes we made.

The stubborn candles that we bought.

She just simply couldnt blow off.

"E- Eliane"
I did all thessse.. decorations.
I simply love thisss.
And my "E!"

Nurul eating the cupcake we made. =)

Posing for the cupcakes!!

Mira with her "A"

See how pale minah get after her throw up.

Nurul opening up her present!

Aeeee..

"Hmm, what's tat??"

A reed baggggg!!

She said she will wear it, and she said it's nice. (evidence)

The pukings buddies.

2008-11-20T01:35:00.000+08:00

BEWARE OF THE COLOURFUL CUPCAKE!!

LOL >.<

It might trigger your HUNGER?!? LOL, cleaning up.
Washing up.
The colourful rubbish. LOL.
Can see the star shape?

My simple design? (will collaspe any sooner.)
woo, think is my nicest design.

lol, abit screwed thou, the 3 yellow kisses look alike is to cover up.

LOL. =.=

The total small cupcakes that we three design.

LOL, got one incomplete, but I think is the nicest thou.

Spot it.

Minah's design.

Me and minah's combination.

LOL, actually I only did the star. kekeke.

Combination of me and minah's too,

I did the stars again.

Okay, this is my initial design.

LOL, actually it look better w/o the choc rice. =.=

Acidentally break the choc rice, then,

too bad.

Lol, the icing too soft, so it sort of collaspe,

so make it as a base.

Woo~

I think this is the nicest of all thou.

LOL, plain, simple, and expressive.

But's its only temporally.

Stupid choc riceee!!

Minah concentrating. LOL. She is the first to start eh.

Get ready our icing, decoration, cupcakes side by side.

kekeke.

Colourful nehhh??

LOLO!!!

For decorations. =)

All the things we need...

The colours we made.

We are the colourful BUNnies. LOL.

Know why?

I made orange, lolo pink, minah yellow.

Elia first colour was turquoise!! Lolo's violet, minah's green!!

Minah's sis making mashmallow fondant!!

GREEENNNNN~~

TURQUOISE!!!!!!!!!!!

VIOLET!!

YUM YUM, but diabetic ahh.

Adding food dye..

Me!!!!

Minah doing green.

Total big cupcakes. (spot the difference?there's 1st batch cupcakes in it!!)

The 2nd batch.

The icing me and lolo made!!

Everything you need to make CUPCAKES!!

LOL, getting ready to bake!!

The first batch!! YUMMY!!

LOL, first time use machine!!
SO MUCH EASIER!!

Hmm, tuesday, skipped school halfway. =( Team were too strong. They were like the strongest in class, and team with me, the stupidest. I seriously cant take it ah. Meeting two totally nothing to say. =.= They all finish up. =.= Haiyaaa. I'm seriously dying in school. Howw? I got straight D's sia. =.= God, can you please save me from it. I don't want it to pull down my GPA. Issit me or issit the people is becoming smarter??

Ehh, then went back home, sleep. LOL. Soo damn good when sleeping. After which wait till minah and lolo class end, then meet them at minah house to bake the cupcakes!! LOL, we went up and down minah house umpteen times in order to get our ingredient. Luckily, there's like convenient shop jus below, and it's really convenient. LOL.

I think out of the many designs and decoration, mine look abit kuku. =( So sadddd ahhh. Things just wont turn out the way I want. Recently.

Baking process were funn, mira was unable to join us due to her FYP. LOL, cupcakes were for NURUL'S BDAE celebration. Meant to be a surprise, but I think we somehow leak it, will tall about it on my next post!! LOL.

Sleeeeeeepyyyyyyyyyy... Should I? Will I be back to square one?

C.U.P.P.Y.C.A.K.E.S.

2008-11-16T20:04:00.005+08:00

LOL.

Piggy slim down le.

I am fatter now.=(
Liquid Kitchen.
Lychee Margarita
Caprihna. But the worst I had ever drink. =.=
I miss John/Ken's cocktail. =(

The one at chomp chomp.
He's too tall.

The bunkmates.

Cool design huh.

The legenary BIG sugar cane.

The NS men.

Does it look like me???

He's drawing me. =)

Cool huh?? He is using both hands.

Nick's bunkmates.

The most NS men I saw, sleeping. LOL.

Too tiree~

See the uncle. He is the most pro I had ever see in that day.

Thou he is old, but he has the most stable hand of the day. =)

Minah wif candy flosss.

And her BF. LOL.

The Candy Floss couple eh?

Family day with gamesss for the family.

The parking lot. For TANKS.

NS men queuing for popcorn. kekek.

See the red shirt woman. LOL.

She is damnnnn good at photographing man.

I can see her everywhere in my pic, standing so near to take pic for her whomever.

It's herrrrr!!

Minah and the bf.

Woo~ the ladiessss.

With this..

There!! Nick is there!! LOL.

Minah so concentrating on taking her BF's shot.

While waiting for minah...

Wooo, sandy eat alot...

NOT!!

I love satay!!

And sandy again!!

Woo! Sandy driving. So cool!!

See the dog!!

So Skinny lo.!!

Hmmmm, Friday, finally get to meet up with Sandy Ong!!! LOL. Went to her house to meet her. Saw alot of nice Tv programmes, which nearly keep us from our plans. But well. ahahah. Yeappp, sandy drive us there. So we went al-ameen(dunno how to spell) to eat. ahaha. As usual ahh. Then order naan, satay... YUM!! Ehhh, sandy appetite getting smaller, which makes me getting fatter. =( Hmmm, went to pool after. ahahah, she so pro lo. =.= One cue can shoot two in. Moreover, she keep winning. =( She can really clear everything in one turn. =(

Ohhhhh yaaa. So coool, Elia finally get to get the taste of driving. ahahah. FUNNNNN. Which scares the head out of sandy. LOL. Hmmm, dun get nightmares kkk. kekke.

And yeapp, saturday wake up as early as 5.30am. LOL, jus for minah. ahahah. Minah are you touched??? ehhh, went to her bf's family day?? or some rank giving thingy. So yaaaa, saw alot of ns men. LOL.

Then after, went back home with lots of pasar malam food, and fall asleep. Shitttt, I seriously getting fatter. Which, wake up, went to meet bf and his bunkmates to chomp chomp to eat again. LOL. OKAYYY, I shall say, SATURDAY is NS men day ahh. LOL. The most ns men I had ever seen in one day k. kekeke.

N.S.D.A.Y.

2008-11-14T17:12:00.001+08:00

Hmmm, skipped school today again. LOL. I think, this semester is the laziest sems I ever had. Don't even know am I able to graduate or not. Is it because of the incident, or is it just be being purely lazy. So much of an excuses to not go school, to drink, to club. I am definitely not a clubber, but I still behave like I am one this month, or I guess, recently. Well, its time to behave like myself already.

Okay, maybe I should count myself lucky? For not making any decision. For having so much, yeap I mean "much", of my friends. ahaha. Really grateful okay. Sorry to have neglected some, cos of the busy schedule? Or maybe my mood ahh. SO SORRY kkk. Don't emo potato already ahhh. ahaha. Ehhh, should have thank god, trust god. (Can this always stays in my mind?) Being sloww is also good, in a sense that it helps to realise one's. But Elia don't like to know so much of a person, that actually disappoints her. LOL. Especially hypocrite people!! LOL. I just don't know how to handle. Don't want to. Nevermind. It doesn't matter anyways. To have or not to have any of my opinions or whatsoever. I'm just so tiny in this world. =)

Okayyy, today shall marks my FYP report. Well, there's more to go...poster, presentation, evaluation. =( Hmmm, hope everything just turns out fine, since my PI is being MIA for the time being. LOL. Ehhh, hopefully more motivation coming up in my life, to push me to school okay. I wanna attend school, I wanna wake up! ANY SOLUTIONS??? =(

B.L.A.N.K.

2008-11-14T01:48:00.001+08:00

Ah na, sy. kekek.

Tong, me.

(Pot culture is not bad. YUM!!)

Dev's new dress, kekeke,

Supposely doing FYP report ah. LOL.

Busy busy, Lazy lazy.
=(
Don't what's so busy, but it's the fyp report deadline week. LOL. Rushing and skipping class for report. (Maybe also skipped for the sake for skipping?)

Eh, I wanna meet up with Sandy and go out with Minah all okay!!! Ehh, don't be emo emo okay. We're still here. Probably it's the FYP thingy that kept us. But yeapp, I"M ALWAYS HERE!!

Thanks for keeping me occupied okay. LOL. Friends, FYP, BF. =)
(Leads to lazy to blog, to upload pictures, to attend class. LOL.)

Hopefully everything is really fine, and not for the sake of being fine. =D
[Fast game!](Bless my FYP report!!!! *oh lord*)

B.U.S.Y.

2008-11-12T01:09:00.001+08:00

I know you can, or maybe you were.
I'll try okay. =)

FYP monthhhhh...Lazy!!!!

2008-11-08T09:51:00.000+08:00

Just reach home. =)
Thursday was rainy.
Friday never go school.
Started my FYP.
(Thanks to SY & dev.)
Went out with girls to get nurulle present.
It has been so longgg.
This trip made me spent for make again. @.@ LOL.
1 MAC. 3 SASA.

I.T.E.V.E.N.T.U.A.L.L.Y.W.I.L.L.

2008-11-05T15:09:00.002+08:00

Pricked finger. =.=

My new hairr.

So crumpled. =.=

Tuesday, went school. =) But woke up late. =( LOL. Hmmm, so coincidence ahh, shuyi also wake up late, it seems like the whole world are late. KK, no la, I'm just being exaggerate. Class quite fun, I am hyperactive?? ahaha. Having lab session in the morning, and the problem trigger is "AM I FAT?", which I had volunteer to provide blood samples for testing to see if Elia really fat?? ahaha.

So yeap, Elia got finger pricking. LOL. My first time, which I should say it's really pain. And dev was the one pricking me, which this bloody idiot put it to 5?(The depth of the needle, which 1 is less depth, 5 is the most!!) I thought he was like joking, till I saw it. =.=

It was really painful, I was like, laughing like hell. LOL. Okay you may think that I'm weird, (which my faci says "if I have you as my patient, I don't know if you were crying or laughing") but the problem is I laugh cos I don't wanna cry, and it's like freaking painful when I need ways to exert my feelings?? ahaha. Nvm, weird I know, I have no idea why. LOLO should know ahh. LOL.

Hmm, everything was quite relax, till 1 plus. =( Need to rush to do ppt. =( Everything cannot found. LOL. Think my teammates gonna strongly disagree me ah. LOL.

After class, waited for lolo to end her ut, as she say she meeting bf at 7, so wanna hangout. So waited with minah all, which minah actually skipped sch, but came to return her FYP equipment. So poor thing, so heavy, taxi fare everything. =.= Haiyaa, don't know ahh. Oh ya, and L shared some new chinese songs with me. It's niceeeee, but it's emo, and it sort of touch my heart. LOL, elia dun wanna be emo already, you still..but it's nice of you la. LOL. Then meet up with lolo, mira all. But well, we never really hangout, cos lolo scare she late. =.= ahaha. So me hangout with minah ah lerkthai. Drank coffee again. ahaha. Shit, I think I am addicted in s******** myself ah? ahaha.

Went to causeway to chill abit, bought lots of colourful clips. =D Then get to meet up with ah na and ken. Hmm, ah na look different. ahaha. She become more and more dress up ah. =D Hmm, so sweet of her to have buy me the malay tutu. =D Elia very touched.keke. Much appreciated. =DD

D.E.L.I.G.H.T.E.D.

2008-11-05T14:08:00.001+08:00

五月天 - 你不是真正的快乐
人群中哭着
你只想变成透明的颜色
你再也不会
梦或痛或心动了
你已经决定了
你已经决定了

你静静忍着
紧紧把昨天在拳心握着
而回忆越是甜
就是越伤人了
越是在手心留下
密密麻麻深深浅浅的刀割

你不是真正的快乐
你的笑只是
你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了
也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂
关在永远锁上的躯壳
这世界笑了
於是你合群的一起笑了
当生存是规则
不是你的选择
於是你含着眼泪
飘飘荡荡跌跌撞撞的走着

你不是真正的快乐
你的笑只是
你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了
也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂
关在永远锁上的躯壳
你不是真正的快乐
你的伤从不肯
完全的癒合
我站在你左侧
却像隔着银河
难道就真的抱着遗憾
一直到老了
然後才後悔着

你不是真正的快乐
你的笑只是
你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了
也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂
关在永远锁上的躯壳

你不是真正的快乐
你的伤从不肯
完全的癒合
我站在你左侧
却像隔着银河
难道就真的抱着遗憾
一直到老了
你值得真正的快乐
你应该脱下
你穿的保护色
为什麽失去了
还要被惩罚呢
能不能就让悲伤
全部结束在此刻
重新开始活着

2008-11-04T00:27:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY AH TONG!!!!!!!!!

May your worries stay far far away k. Your every tml will be a better day. =D Bless you with all the happiness and trouble-free k. (Lesser falling downs and...etc. LOL! ahaha) =D Stay happy always. =)

Friends forever!! =)